livlaughlove | sticksandbones IC Inbox

GROVE TOOLS:
++ bone ring
++ fishing gear
++ undying lantern

WEAPONS:
++ ~~Double Fangs (2 double-barreled SMGs)~~ - given to Wolfwood
++ ~~1 pack of silver bullets~~ - given to Wolfwood
++ these hands.

GENERIC ITEMS:
++ (x2) half of a coin (not matching; both halves are from different coins)
++ a really fucking cool rock
++ ipod classic [brick]
++ 1 jar of lavender essential oil

TOYS, PLUSHES:
++ Petunia, black lamb plush
++ PBJ, crocheted horse from Elsword
++ Ivy, patchwork deer plush
++ Ms. Baabara, crocheted sheep from PV

CLOTHING:
++ shirt & pants
++ ~~cloak~~ curtain
++ sweater & fur-lined cloak
++ probably a suit idk i hiatused during prom
++ swim trunks
++ sherwal trousers
++ poncho & hat :)
++ ???

MISC REFERENCES:

coat

Double Fangs

Petunia, PBJ, Ivy, Ms. Baabara Estelle Cottonbottom

Edited 2025-02-08 01:02 (UTC)

[For most of the night, Wolfwood leaves the Grove.

He just. Leaves. With no intention of coming back. He has the magic of the golden glasses baked into his own, meaning he's able to see the correct paths. He can't get himself turned around, not anymore. So he puts on that coat from Heimr, grabs the Punisher, and just fucking leaves.

From around 8PM to 2AM, Wolfwood is gone. If it weren't for the jacket, he probably would have died of hypothermia at the rate he's going, but the cold just spurs him on further. It drives him to keep moving, to try to get away from this awful place and everything it stands for. He walks until his shoes are soaked and his feet are threatening frostbite, until his entire body is coated in a layer of ice, until every step causes physical pain.

As the night reaches its zenith, he takes one more step out into the open, and finds himself back in the Grove.

...

Is Livio asleep? There's a dull knocking at his door.]

[With how fucking frigid things get at night, Livio has been in and out of sleep. Even bundled up in all of his new clothes, he shivers himself awake every so often.

As it stands, he's already getting up when he hears the footsteps approach his door. It's only a few seconds before he opens the door following the knock. And he's immediately horrified by the ice covering Wolfwood.]

Nicholas! What the hell happened?

[Wolfwood is...well. He's not dying. It would take a lot more than a little cold to kill him, or even severely hurt him really.

But he is so exhausted, so worn thin and wrung dry that he cannot answer. At least not until he warms up a little bit.

Instead, he just...kindof lists forward, barely managing to catch himself on one foot, before he loses his balance and ends up stumbling into Livio anyway. The Punisher, which he'd been clutching like a lifeline, falls with a deafening thud to the floor nearby.]

[Jesus Christ.

For now, Livio pulls Nick inside and nudges the Punisher out of the way of the door with a foot. Then it's tearing off those outer layers of Wolfwood's, shaking the ice off of him.

As limp as Nick is, Livio sets him on the bed and even yanks off his shoes and socks. Anything crusted in ice is coming off, before being replaced with the clothes off of Livio's own back. Warm socks, warm pants (he still has his own leather underneath the recently acquired cloth), warm and heavy coat. The only thing Liv keeps for himself over his own shirt and pants is that damn curtain.

Finally, whether he wants to fight Liv or not, Nick gets wrapped up into a bearhug.]

Hey. Can you at least hear me? You don't have to talk. Just grumble or something.

Edited (ugh wording) 2023-12-24 07:24 (UTC)

[If Livio had found Wolfwood around 8, he would have fought him off. He probably would have been a lot more vicious and vitriolic, even if Livio isn't the source of his ire. It's maybe a little more...alarming that he doesn't fight back and simply allows Livio to do all of this for him, right down to stripping him free of his ice-crusted clothing to be replaced with his own much warmer garments. It helps almost immediately, but it doesn't mean Wolfwood stops shaking.

That will be the first thing Livio notices. That he's shaking, violently. And it doesn't...seem to be entirely from the cold, though that sure is part of it.

Livio finishes it all off with an embrace, and...if there's one thing he appreciates about Livio, it's the understanding of the need for silence. Or, at the very least, not bombarding him with questions when he's not coherent enough to answer them. He sinks heavy into Livio's arms, taking him up on his offer to not talk by making a low, affirmative sound.

He can hear you. He's alive. He's just...he needs a minute, or five.]

[Livio understands that much, it's true.]

Thank you.

[Until Nick is ready, he just holds him. Maybe pulls the sheet of his bed up and drapes it over his shoulders, as well. Tries to rub some feeling back into Nick's shuddering limbs. Even when he's pretty confident Nick should be out of the realm of severe danger, he still feels him quaking.

But whatever happened, whatever Nick saw... Livio is willing to wait until he's ready. He just hopes Nick will allow him to help, even if it's just... listening to him.]

[The predicament Wolfwood finds himself in with Livio is a unique one. Though he doesn’t fully understand how, he knows that- in some way- Livio is different from the Livio he knew before. At first he’d attributed it to the drugs, but…after seeing and being around him for a bit longer, it’s starting to become apparent that may not be the case. It’s something he could ask someone who has been here longer about, if he ever gets close enough to someone else to broach such a sensitive topic. For now, everything related to himself and home remains locked up tight for just a select few.

Well. No. It’s just…Livio, isn’t it? It’s just Livio now.

Livio is, once more, his only connection. And maybe that’s how it should be, in the end.

He’s quiet for…a while. Unnaturally silent and still, even when the shaking starts to subside. Livio can’t see it given the way he’s holding him, but Wolfwood looks grave. Murderous. But more than anything, deeply hurt, and…sad. His forehead drops against Livio’s shoulder, and under his breath he mutters.]

F’I ever see his face again- I’ll kill ‘im. Fucking kill ‘im.

[Livio has to admit to himself that he doesn't know Nick as well as he would like to believe. They're not kids anymore, and "work" forced them to be people they're not. At least, he hopes that's the case for Nicholas... and after everything he did to save Livio from himself, well... he's fairly confident, actually, that Nick isn't really a coldblooded killer at his core.

In a lot of ways, he is still the same. He cares too much about people who don't deserve him, underneath all that grumpiness. Only, in the time since Hopeland, simple grumpiness has grown into walls colder and higher than Liv thought possible. He could have easily imagined Wolfwood taking the entirety of the Grove under his wing, with a groan, but gently nonetheless.

As it stands, Livio isn't sure whether to believe Nick means what he says, or who it's even concerning.]

Whose face? What happened?

[Things have certainly changed. Time hasn't been kind to Wolfwood, nor have his particular circumstances. He'd been forced to give up everything to protect the very few things left in the world that he loved, and for a long time he'd made peace with the fact that he didn't have room in his heart for anything or anyone else, not when that remained his top priority. But in his time spent in the Grove...he'd maybe been fooled, just briefly, into thinking things could be different. Having Vash here under pretenses divorced from No Man's Land, and Livio alive and well...regardless of how dangerous this world is, it simply doesn't hold a candle to home.

And home...isn't a factor right now. It shouldn't be one. And, god, if he wasn't...a little pried open by seeing the reactions to all of the gifts he'd delivered, even if they weren't ones he picked out personally. Figures that even that, too, would end up tainted.

Wolfood's fingeers pull a little at the fabric of the sheets that Livio had draped around him, and for a moment it seems like he might not answer. That is, until he sits back just enough so that he can look up at him, eyes dark and bitter.]

Vash.

[...that answers the who, but not the what.]

[Ah.

Honestly, Livio has no goddamn clue what to make of that. Given what he witnessed on No Man's Land, and the snippets of shouted words and ways Nick and Vash looked at and moved around each other here in the Grove... He isn't sure what there is between those two. And really, it feels like something he, of all people, doesn't deserve to be privy to. If he hadn't joined the Eye, hadn't tried to kill them both... maybe he could have been their friend, been worthy of truly knowing them, as they are now.

But... he isn't.

The anger in Nick's gaze is met with the deep sadness and worry in Livio's. That much has also remained the same since they were kids. But like Nicholas, Livio has become much more restrained. As much as he would like to pry into the heart of the matter in a desperate bid to fix it, he leaves that up to Nick.]

We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I'm here, if you do.

[It sort of really...hits home, the way Livio just looks so sad, looking back at him. It's reminiscent of when they were kids, and how he somehow managed to look like a kicked puppy 90% of the time. Maybe that's why he felt the need to look after Livio, back then. He didn't think he'd really make it on his own otherwise. He didn't ever think their positions would be reversed, and that Livio would be the one offering his much larger shoulder to ostensibly cry on.

His teeth grit, grinding painfully behind his lips as he looks off to the side. Wolfwood looks like he could very easily just hunker down in Livio's jacket and the blankets and disappear like a miserable turtle.]

I...you just got here, Livio. You're... [Alive.] You shouldn't have to deal with any of this.

[Nick has no idea just how grateful Livio is for the opportunity to do this for him. Of course he isn't glad for the situation -- that anything would upset Nicholas this much -- but the chance to return all of his kindness... That's all Livio wants. That's the whole point.

Despite himself, he smiles. It's sheepish, small, but warm and as full of adoration as it ever was.]

I just got you, Wolfwood. I just got you back, and I'm asking to deal with it. I'm all in, whatever you need. You didn't let me be alone, and I... I want to be that for you now, if you'll let me.

[Oh what the fuck, Livio.

Wolfwood is not exactly in the headspace to handle someone being this genuine with him, but least of all god damn Livio, who he'd just watched blow his own brains out to break himself free from the Eye's control. He'd just gotten him back, only to lose him forever within moments. And Livio...he thinks it's him that got Wolfwood back?

His brows form a sudden, desperate curve. He'd managed to fight it back when he was fighting with Vash, but now it's too much. He doesn't manage to turn his face away in time before tears race down his cheeks, prompting him to quickly bring a hand up to press his thumb and forefinger to his eyes underneath his sunglasses.]

I- I'm sorry. Fuck.

[Though the embrace isn't quite as close as it was when Livio was trying to warm Nick back up, he holds on to what he can, without actively pulling Wolfwood back in. He doesn't want the other man to feel coddled or patronized, but he sure as hell is going to at least rub his shoulder or pat his back or... whatever feels least invasive, really.

It's reminiscent of childhood, somewhat, but not identical. Nick hadn't been the type to baby him, so much as grab him by the scruff and yank him up and out of his funk. Livio doesn't have the heart to be so rough; in fact, he finds his own eyes stinging in sympathy. But he holds it together, keeping steady for his oldest friend.]

You've got nothing to apologize to me for. I'm here, Nick.

[Ultimately, Wolfwood decides to remove his sunglasses, laying them aside on the bed somewhere. They haven't been showing him any weird affects in here, but he doesn't want to deal with it either way...and he'd much rather be able to see Livio in the semi-gloom than struggle to actually look at his face. Again, the lack of coddling- the general air of respect Livio has for him- does wonders to calm Wolfwood down. If this were anyone else, he'd be flying off the handle. This...is like a soothing salve on an angry, fresh burn. He's not really sure what he would have done, if Livio weren't here.

Crash and burn, probably. Self destruct harder than he has already.

He sniffs, taking a moment to just...breathe. Livio was always good at that, too. Helping him to manage his temper when they were kids. He'd keep him grounded in ways not even the other adults could, which seems to be coming through now in the way he breathes slowly and tries not to let his anger get the better of him. It's unfortunate, then, that with nothing else to replace it, another wave of sadness floods into the hole that rage left behind.

He looks genuinely heartbroken, for lack of a better word. Betrayed. Disgusted at himself for falling for him, yet again, falling for Vash's same old trick of letting you in before crushing your foot in the door.

Wolfwood exhales shakily, looking down into his lap now as he tries to figure out...where to even start.]

You know how you said...your job was to make Vash the Stampede experience eternal suffering. Mine was to take him to Knives. Unharmed. I'd stop anyone and everyone who got in the way...even his own men, sometimes. Well Vash, he...he told me he knew about that, but he stayed with me anyway. He'd convinced himself I was...above what I was being forced to do. That I was a good person.

And now he's... [His breath stutters, and the words trail off, becoming faint. He's a hair's breadth from becoming incensed again, but he keeps the boil to a simmer.] He fucking. Does this. He tells me I'm...good. Or worth keeping around, or what-the-fuck ever. And then he shuts me out. Acts like he's some...god damn pariah who knows better than everyone else.

[Of course that's what the Punisher's mission had been. What better method to cause even more suffering, both personal to the twins and the disciples, and general, to all humans unlucky enough to encounter any of them along the way.

Livio's eyes squeeze shut. He isn't at all surprised that Nicholas would fail so utterly in that mission without actually failing. He knows all too well the callousness that the Eye of Michael breeds, but... Nick always went his own way.]

He's right about that, at least. That you're a good person. You could have easily killed me, but you risked yourself to save me, instead. [As meek as Livio has been, he sounds quite firm in that, no patience for arguing.

For the rest... he's back in that deep well of sorrow. He doesn't sound angry, necessarily, but perhaps disappointed. Livio was under the impression that Vash was a big part of the reason Nick was willing to embrace his gentler side.]

I don't think that's your fault. It sounds like... Vash is perfectly capable of causing his own suffering. Especially if he's willing to treat you like that.

You're right he fucking is.

[Ah, there's the anger bubbling back to the surface as Wolfwood furiously wipes his eyes again to make sure no more wetness remains, even as he realizes he doesn't feel any shame in crying in front of Livio. He doesn't like it, but he's known him long enough that he feels less like his world is going to crumble if Livio sees him vulnerable.

He thought Vash was the same but, well.

He shakes his head. He won't argue with Livio on whether or not he's good, because he knows that isn't a battle he'd win. He has other things to worry about anyway, things that he wishes didn't get to him as much as they are right now.]

He's convinced that he's gotta self-flagellate at all times or else the sky's gonna fall. Don't matter who he hurts in the process.

[THAT...isn't exactly a fair assessment, but Wolfwood isn't going to be a reliable narrator right now, not when he's as wounded as he is.

Then he...sighs. His shoulders sag, and as he looks away again, his brows furrow into something more frustrated than anything.]

He tried to make me make that choice, you know. To leave. "For my own good". And when I told him no, he couldn't do it himself.

...not until earlier.

[No, it kind of is perfectly fair --

For better or worse, Livio continues to not even acknowledge the tears, or lack thereof, besides patting Nick a couple times. He takes in Nick's words in silence, then takes his time contemplating them.

Nicholas wouldn't appreciate him sugarcoating things, and even if that wasn't the case, Livio isn't sure he's capable whatsoever.]

It sounds like he's being an ass.

[Again, his tone is level and free of outright accusation. He chooses his words carefully -- not Vash does suck, but Vash is acting sucky. Livio, of all people, knows that everyone fucks up sometimes, and it isn't his place to imply someone should abandon a person they care about over one argument. Even if, somewhere deep down, he is angry that Vash would hurt Nicholas, who clearly trusts (trusted?) him more than anyone in his adult life. Livio lashing out wouldn't help either of them.]

Are you? Going to leave. Or do you want to give him another chance?

[God bless Livio for having the patience of an actual saint, because Wolfwood can feel himself getting worked up again just thinking back to what happened. It's a reasonable question for Livio to be asking, yet...

His hands tremble, balled into fists as they are in his lap. He barks a mirthless laugh.]

If it was my choice, do you think I'd've been out in that Forest for the last five hours? If it was...if it was my choice...

[Wolfwood's jaw aches from how hard he grits his teeth. He could be raising his voice, shouting right now, but there's maybe something more to be said about how low and quiet his voice is. It withers the more he says, showing just how incensed the whole thing has made him.

The furrows and cracks are beginning to show for Livio to see.]

I'm better off elsewhere, he said. I don't know what I'm doing, he said. I don't know what I'm SAYING, he fucking said.

[He brings one hand up to his own chest, briefly beating a staccato there with his fingers to make a point.]

He made me...feel like I was going insane. Like I was wrong for being there? Just because I was drunk?

[Uh

Uh oh-]

[It just feels like this is what Nick needs right now. If Livio thought he was of more use to Nicholas going out there and smacking some sense into people, he might do so. But for the moment, fixing... whatever it is that's between the Punisher and the Humanoid Typhoon is second to soothing Nick's upset.

... Of course, Livio isn't immune to... well, it can't really be shock. He's heard and seen enough to put a vague picture together... But it still feels presumptuous to act like he sees right through them, and Nick getting drunk around Vash is novel enough information that Livio has to take a moment to chase the surprise off of his own expression.]

What... happened?

You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. But... I don't really know what to say right now.

[Honestly, he's not sure if he wants to talk about it. Not now, not ever, he'd like to forget it ever happened and move on with his life. But that is a pipe dream and Vash has managed to carve out a stupid little hole in his stupid little brain, living there rent free no matter if Wolfwood likes it or not.

He sighs, once more trying to take a moment to calm down. It's hard, because it's easier to understand just being angry about this. But that isn't the only emotion rattling around in his head, and it requires him to admit to...a lot. Not just to Livio, but to himself.

Without the proper context though, Livio isn't going to fully get what happened. Even if he's receiving it from a biased source.]

After...that meeting. He brought me some whiskey. We had a couple drinks. And I ended up...telling him more about what happened to me. To us.

[He winces, realizing that maybe Livio might not have wanted him to do that, actually. It's not entirely his story to tell, he realizes this.]

I felt like I could trust him, I guess. So I told him. And we talked for a while. He...we. He was just...there. And it was easy, for once.

[...]

He asked if he could kiss me. But I guess he regretted it when he sobered up.

[It doesn't even occur to Livio what Wolfwood means by "to us" until he winces. And really, it doesn't matter to him nearly as much as Nick thinks it does. He just kind of rolls his shoulder in a shrug, not acknowledging it otherwise.

He's sure Vash has heard of worse things come from Knives' followers, really. Livio assumed he had the saddest sob story of all, once. He isn't going to act like that again.

Again, he needs... a long moment to process. Again, he can't say he's terribly surprised. But hearing it aloud is another beast entirely. He... isn't sure how this all makes him feel.

Besides miserable on Wolfwood's behalf.]

And that's what you want. [It isn't a question, anymore, so much as an observation. Nicholas wanted to kiss Vash, and as soon as Vash was in his right mind, he sent Nick away.

What is Livio supposed to say?]

You... You deserve better. Whether it's from him or not.

[And yet... again, he has to ask. Because it isn't just Vash's choice.]

Do you want to try salvaging it?

[It's certainly more than he would ever expect Livio to have to deal with. It's why he'd said he shouldn't have to shoulder this burden because it really is Wolfwood's mess to deal with. He and Vash are idiots who don't know how to communicate their feelings, resulting in this mess. And unfortunately for everyone involved, Wolfwood never had the chance to mature into an adult who even knows how to.

Livio is trying. He is trying so fucking hard and Wolfwood knows that. It really means a lot that he is.]

I... [Again, he sags. And again, his gaze slowly slides up to meet Livio's, looking more like an accosted child right now than an adult.] All I can think about is how much I want him to hurt as much as I am.

[This isn't something Vash can just keep jerking him around on, nor is it something he could just walk back into Wolfwood's space and apologize, thinking it's going to be immediately okay after. Not this time.

But that wasn't what Livio asked.

Do you want to try salvaging it?]

...I dunno what I want. I thought...I wanted that. Whatever that was making me feel. Like I was...real. And wanted.

But maybe it was just the alcohol. I don't actually know anymore.

[Maybe, because they never really TALKED about it so much as Vash said "you don't want to do that, goodbye"]

[Oh.

The look Nick gives him is heartbreaking. As much as he tries to stop it, Livio's breath catches in his throat and tears threaten the corners of his eyes again.

Even hearing that, he still firmly believes that that isn't the sort of person Nicholas is. If it was, Wolfwood wouldn't have been in the woods for hours, wouldn't be here right now, seeking Livio's shoulder. He would be... hurting Vash, like he says But he isn't.]

Is that... something you want to give up without a fight? [Bad wording. Hold on.] I mean -- you should talk to him. If you think it's worth fighting for.

[...]

I don't...want to give up, Livio. But he's made it clear, under no uncertain terms, that he ain't fucking having it.

[Lol, lmao, smash cut to Vash just showing up at his door like-]

And I am not giving him room to do this to me a third time. At that point, I'm the idiot here.

[.........]

I just don't think it'll be as easy as "talking", is all.

[Ugh.

Fuck it. Whether Nick fights him or not, Livio is going for a hug. A real one, with both arms, not held back for fear of hurting him because... he knows exactly what amount of strength would harm Nick, and how much less to use. So Nicholas gets a rare, unhindered embrace from Livio.]

I'm sorry you're hurting. I... I want you to be happy, Nick. Whatever you want to do, I'll back you up, and I'll be here after.

[Unhindered as it is, it means it really feels like a bear hug. It squeezes down on him tight from all sides, nearly enough to make it hurt to breathe, but still not quite. To someone else, it might be understandably frightening, and...honestly Wolfwood is a little startled by it, because it really just underscores the kind of strength Livio possesses these days.

But he isn't afraid. Nor does he try to shoulder his way out of the embrace.

No, he returns it. There's no way his own is as strong, but at least he's trying. He hugs Livio, resting his head heavily against his shoulder.]

...thank you, Livio. I'd be a lot more fucked up if you weren't here.

[Livio almost laughs. Maybe one short chuckle does end up escaping.]

At least we can be fucked up together. Same as it ever was.

[That's followed by a sigh. He isn't foolish enough to think that any of this has made Nicholas feel okay, but so long as he isn't actively snarling or crying anymore, Livio thinks that's the most he can ask.

Otherwise, there's other things to check on. He loosens his arms enough that Nick can get away if he wants.]

Are you warmed up yet? You can keep the coat tonight if you need to. Or stay. Or... both. Whatever you need.

[Same as it ever was...

Those arms loosen, yet he doesn't pull away. He just sags again in Livio's embrace, like a sad beanbag. He could really use more booze, or a cigarette, or something, but he's finding that being with Livio is better than any vice he could run to right now.]

I...I'm gonna stay with you tonight. If that's okay.

[He doesn't want to go back to his room. He knows that Vash is still in the same building- he can't avoid that, not unless he wants to sleep in the snow- but at least if he's here he won't have to confront him alone if he came by, much less anyone else.]

'course it is.

[That's why he offered! He's here with the hugs as long as Nick needs it, or until it gets late enough that he seems particularly tired. Then he will just have to detach himself so that Nicholas has room to lay down.

No arguing. That thing can barely hold Livio alone, and splintering the bedframe in the middle of the night will only be inconvenient.

But Livio does task Nick with one important thing before he lays down on the floor. With a face that is as deathly serious as ever, he hands over a soft little stuffed lamb.]

Petunia sleeps on the bed. Take care of her.

[You won't hear any outbursts from Wolfwood tonight, at least not anymore. He has thoroughly exhausted every ounce of energy he has, feeling both physically and emotionally spent. Even though he does feel bad forcing Livio to sleep on the floor, he is grateful to be allowed this space here. He wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

He decides to keep the jacket and everything on, since it's still bitterly cold and he has not fully recovered from nearly freezing to death in the Grove. He does pause, however, as he goes to lay down and sees that Livio is handing him something.

A little black lamb. A plush toy.

...

He takes it wordlessly. No smirk, no smart remark, even if he definitely thinks that Livio would have toted around something like this as a child, if the orphanage could have afforded new toys for them.]

...I will. You have my word.

[He will sleep with Petunia IN his arms, thanks.]

[There's a note taped to Livio's door. It's in Elsword's awful handwriting, sorry if you can't read this.]

Hi Liveeo!

[There was an attempt.]

I made you a gift. I hope you like horses!

[this is an offensive cowboy stereotype, anyway here's a horse. It's... definitely shaped like a horse...?]

[Livio's animal toy collection grows...

This is really cute. Livio has never actually seen a horse before, but he loves her.

... Her name is Peanutbutterjiggles.

He'll have to find out who his mysterious benefactor was and thank them.]

( very rapid light knocks on his door- )

Mister Livio! You got a lot of blankets and stuff, right? I need to borrow one please, someone's about to resurrect but she died before winter so she doesn't have anything to protect herself from the cold!

[She's already halfway through that spiel before he gets to the door and opens it, though he heard everything. With the panicked and (at least from his perception) child-like voice, he's instantly locked on.

... It takes him a few seconds of staring at her to actually register the words, though. And even then... he doesn't fully comprehend them. At least the how. He does turn pretty quickly to grab the requested blanket, as well as the sweater and coat Heimr gave him. He's still wide-eyed and slack jawed when he returns to the door with them.]

Do -- do you need help?

( nene pauses from her rearranging things in her arms before frowning. )

Maybe, but... I think. She would prefer I bring someone she knows, if I do bring anyone at all. She isn't the sort who likes to be vulnerable in front of strangers.

( or anyone. felicity has always been prideful- but she'll forgive herself weakness for a trusted friend in dire straights. )

[Livio gets that, he does, but...]

Will she be okay in that case? That's more important than pride, right? [He won't force it, he just has to be sure.]

So long as she follows the rules to get back safely- and she knows them!- then she should be, providing the price of resurrection isn't violent. It can be, sometimes. The Forest sucks.

( ignore how she winces immediately after saying that, how the vines wrapped around her body squeeze too tight for too long. its. it's fine. (it super isn't.) )

I have someone I know I can ask to come with me if it's super necessary.

[Very sorry, he literally can't ignore that. My mans is supernaturally observant.]

What about you? Are you going to be okay?

Oh! The Forest just is very controlling and... doesn't like when it's favorite toy bad-mouths it. .... But then, if it didn't want to be bad-mouthed, it should treat people better, don't you think?

[Hello. What.]

Favorite... toy?

[She is just a KID??]

... ( nene can only smile sadly. ) I'm not a person to it, Livio. I'm just a doll. It keeps me alive, kept me from aging... anything to keep me here under it's control. So that it can play with me forever.

Elsword is what happens when it hates you. But me? I'm what happens when it loves you.

( wooden ball-jointed legs and a noose around her neck and all. )

[This is... horrifying, actually! What the fuck.

He has so many goddamn questions. And maybe, for the first time, he actually feels a burgeoning but very clear hate for the forest.

But... someone's life is potentially in danger right now, and he's keeping her.]

... Please tell me if you need anything else. I mean you, too.

Mhm! We'll be fine aside from the price of resurection, but that's a whole nother page entirely, and not within anyone's control.

I'll make sure I bring it back clean, thank you!

[A few days after everything, there's a very quiet knock on Livio's door. Vash waits for him to open up, then swiftly raises his hands.]

I know I'm probably the last guy you wanna see right about now but. I wanted to say thank you. You really knocked some sense into me the other day, y'see. [His hands lower, tucking into his pockets.] And... I also wanted to apologize. For hurting someone you cared about. And for puttin' you through all that trouble.

[Contrary to what Vash expects, Livio isn't outwardly irritated when he sees him. Maybe a little on the inside, but he has years of training in the Eye to shove that down effectively.

Mostly, he's just quiet and lets Vash say his piece. When he does finally speak, it's as even-toned as ever.]

You don't need to apologize to me. I'm going to assume you did to Nicholas, though?

Yeah. We're... We're okay now.

[More than okay, judging by that little smile of his. It's fine, don't worry about it.]

First person I talked to.

[Upon hearing that that's been resolved, Livio grants Vash a smile, too. A small one, but it's there.]

I'm glad to hear that, Mr. Vash. Really.

Yeah, well... The point is that I owe you, right? I'm sure you'll say no but I promise I'm not gonna make it a big thing. How about, uh...

[He pinches his chin as he thinks.]

Dinner. I'll make you dinner. How's pasta sound?

I don't think you do. [As far as Livio is concerned, all he needed from Vash was for him to take care of Nick, and now that that's squared away...]

You don't have to do that. [It isn't a no.]

Sure I don't. But I want to! And it's the least I can do after everything.

[Vash laces his fingers together behind his head.]

So. See you in the kitchen tonight? You don't even have to eat it with me, just come get your share!

[Arguing with Vash is a battle he can't win. Livio is well aware of this.]

If you insist, I'll be there.

See you soon then, Liv!

[Off he goes! Livio better be there!]

[....... Okay, maybe he does need to lay a boundary or two with Vash.

Regardless. He will show up in the kitchen, dutifully wearing his sweater and everything.]

Do you need help?

[Vash is bouncing on his heels when Livio shows up. Possibly even humming to himself. It's ridiculous.]

Oh, hey, Liv! I'm just about done, don't worry. I'll have a bowl for you in just a sec!

[..........

All of this is extremely suspicious. No one is this happy to see Livio. The Humanoid Typhoon is not this happy. It's downright comical. Like he walked right out of some evening sitcom, immediately following...

...

Livio STARES.

Did you fuck my bestie, Vash the Stampede?]

[Vash is completely oblivious as he scoops up a very hefty portion of pasta for Livio. He looks at the bowl, over at Livio, and then back once more, still not quite noticing. Eventually he pulls down a second dish and fills that too.

It's only once he turns on his heel and actually faces Livio that he realizes... something is wrong. He jumps in the air, damn near throwing the pasta in the process.]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's wrong? Is there something on my face?

[... Maybe now is a good time to work on old breathing exercises. Deep inhales, slow exhales. This is fine.]

Thank... you. [Oops. That came out very harsh, in a monotone, almost robotic sort of way. Livio will just... take one of the bowls stiffly and turn to trudge off and sit down... somewhere.]

[Well.... That won't do! Vash waddles after him, once more stumbling over his feet and once more almost losing the other bowl.]

You forgot one! Hey! C'mon! Get back here!

[Vash you ignoramus.]

This is plenty. Thank you.

[Vash just scowls at him and shoves it toward his hands.]

It'll go to waste if you don't eat it!

[Listen, he knows how food scarcity works. He knows that guilt.]

[Will Vash shut up and go away if Livio takes it.]

[Yes]

[For 30 seconds]

[He is not taking a single bite as long as Vash is hovering. He is just continuing to glare.]

[Well, terrible news because Vash has brought his own bowl over and is chowing down right near him.]

Yew gunna haf shum? [Through mouthfuls. Disgusting.] Gunna get cold.

[God just wants him to suffer. It's fine. He has always known this.

Fine. Livio will eat. Grumpily.]

[Well, guess they're eating together.]

Ish it - [Hold on, let him find his manners.] Is it good?

[.......

And he deflates, because, honestly...]

It is. Thank you, Mr. Vash.

[Aw, look at him just brightening up. His eyes are a glitter and everything.]

I'm really glad. You deserve a hot meal. Especially after everything. 'm real sorry I got you so worked up. I mean, not just you but...

[Livio is the one in front of him.]

Nick's real important to me. And you're important to him. So...

[Livio doesn't know if he agrees with the first sentiment, but... on the subject of Nick, they can sure get along. He pauses to stare down at his half empty bowl, not ever looking up directly at Vash.]

He's all that matters to me. [There isn't a threat laced in there, even after everything. If anything, Livio sounds exhausted, almost desperate.] Please be kind to him.

I think I get it...

[There's a slightly more sobered note in Vash's voice. He doesn't fully understand Livio, and certainly not this Livio. He's wondered what the other Vash might have been like. Sometimes the thought even scares him. But it doesn't matter, when they're both here now.

Livio's a friend. That's all there is to it.]

I promise, I'll be as good as I can to him, from here on out. It's a promise, yeah?

[Finally, Livio meets Vash's eyes, if the Plant even allows it. Liv was truthful in saying he didn't feel personally slighted, so as long as Nicholas is happy, and happy with Vash... That's good enough for him.]

I will hold you to that promise, Vash the Stampede.

[Vash does indeed hold his gaze! And when that isn't enough, he holds out his pinky.]

Wanna swear on it?

[Here, he hesitates, but it isn't out of misgiving. No, it gives him pause because it reminds him of a better time. When he and Nick were both happy. Even if it was short, and a long time ago.

Livio chuckles, low, once, in disbelief, before joining with Vash's pinkie.]

[Of course there's a triumphant holler on his part! He gives the pinkie a squeeze before letting go

... and promptly going back to his food.]

[Livio just has a ton of visitors lately.

There's little fanfare. At some point in the day, Wolfwood is at Livio's inn room door, similarly to how he'd retreated to him the first time. This time though, he's not freezing to death, nor is his head bowed with misery. He looks...a lot more content than he's been since he got here.]

Oi, Livio. Mind if I come in?

Edited 2023-12-30 00:28 (UTC)

[Does he? Sure he's been feeling kind of overwhelmed, but... it doesn't quite occur to him that it's because of socializing.

He always has time for Wolfwood, though. His answer is instantaneous.]

Go ahead.

[He'll just be putting away his netbook and getting up from his two side-by-side twin mattresses on the floor.]

[He'll come in, then, pulling the door shut behind him. As Livio starts to stand, though, he shakes his head. Hands still in his pockets, he'll move to sit down on one of them nearby.]

Nah. You don't gotta get up. I wanted to tell you I talked to Vash.

[He tilts his head a bit to the side, resting one arm over his knee.]

We can probably call off killing him.

[This is a joke-]

[Okay, sitting it is. Livio is in no position or mood to argue. He's just glad to see that Nick is okay.]

Well... I wasn't planning on it. But I'm glad you two worked it out, Nicholas.

Yeah. It...wasn't easy.

[It wasn't a conversation he particularly wanted to have when it happened, either. Vash rolled up like a whirlwind about the same as you'd expect from Vash the Stampede, so he shouldn't have been surprised.]

Can't promise we won't butt heads again. But...I'm glad I had you to show me I wasn't being insane. Sorry you had to put up with that mess.

You don't need to apologize to me. I'm just glad I could help in some way.

[It would be nice if he had something to offer right now to make Nick more comfortable. Food or something. But his room is bare. ... Except for Petunia's new horse friend.]

I should apologize, actually... I went to talk to him. I should have asked you first.

[Oh, that's...actually a little surprising to hear. He isn't mad about it or anything- Livio can do whatever he wants, in his opinion- he just wasn't sure if he would or not.

He sits back on his haunches a little, regarding Livio fully now.]

Oh yeah? What happened?

[Livio may be his own person, but it still felt a little dirty to go behind Nick's back to talk to Vash about him. He shies away a little under Wolfwood's gaze, guilt obvious enough. He thanks god that he stayed his hand during that exchange -- he wouldn't be able to so much as stay here in the room with Nick if he'd struck Vash.]

We just... talked. I tried to get him to see outside his own perspective. He was pretty stubborn.

[He huffs, shaking his head.]

That doesn't surprise me. [...] You must have knocked some sense into him somehow, though. He was...talkin' different, when he came to me the second time. The first time, he thought he could just say sorry and it'd all be fixed, but he didn't even know what he was apologizing for.

But then...he was saying shit about realizing that he'd hurt me. That he wasn't listening to me.

[Even if Wolfwood doesn't mean it as such, Livio feels even worse faced with the possible implication that he might've breached Nick's trust in talking to Vash.]

I tried my best not to repeat anything you told me in confidence... It just felt... obvious, by the way he reacted to people in that ridiculous journal entry.

No...it's alright. I wouldn't call it in "confidence", anyway. It's what I would've said to him if I thought he'd listen to me.

[Wolfwood looks up at Livio, his expression more tired than anything.]

Obviously I don't need to tell you anything. It's already detailed for anyone to read, if they want. ...but that's been his whole M.O. Thinking that he needs to make up for a mistake he made when he was a child, and pushing everyone around him away in pursuit of that.

...well. It does seem like he's finally wising up. And he'll keep on that track, if he doesn't want me to kick his ass.

[Livio's eyes avert towards the end. Isolating himself and self-sabotaging over a childhood mistake. Maybe Liv has been a bit hypocritical in his treatment of Vash.]

... I hope he does, for your sake.

Yeah. Me too. But I didn't come here to just gab about me again.

[Wolfwood shifts a little, leaning forward with his hands on his knees.]

How have you been holdin' up? I haven't seen you out much. Not that there's...really shit to do for guys like us here, but.

[God, he feels like a lab rat under surveillance. He knows that isn't Nick's intent, but addressing his own... issues always makes Livio antsy. So long as nobody else brings them up, he can at least pretend like they don't exist.]

I've been out, here and there. Trying to learn what I can about this place.

[Well that probably explains why Wolfwood doesn't know about 99% of those issues...]

Oh yeah? You find anything? Last time I tried, I got my shit kicked in by the Forest.

I haven't left town yet.

[Livio does lift a brow at Nick...]

What happened? It seemed like the night of that blizzard had the shortest possible answer to everything.

I had the idea to leave as soon as I got here. That was the plan, anyway.

[People told him not to, naturally. But he was stupid, and stubborn, and look where that got him-]

Needle-noggin caught me before I left, but couldn't convince me to stay, so. He ended up tagging along. We were in there for...a while.

[...]

We eventually came across a corpse, all grown over by the woods. He wanted to bring her back, but I didn't want anything to do with it. It didn't seem right. Turns out I was right.

Beasts formed outta the plants and attacked us after that.

I'm glad you made it out in one piece. [At least, he's assuming that was the case. He doesn't really have any reason to believe otherwise.]

Was there any kind of warning before it happened? Aside from the... suspicious remains. [Yeah, let's just call a poor child's corpse that.

Livio would have shared sentiment with Vash, in that scenario. Even if it seemed like a bad idea.]

[Haha WELL. Wolfwood will just let Livio think that. He doesn't need to see the ugly bite wound on his shoulder now, having not properly healed because the drugs don't work like they should, here. They haven't even talked about that, either...]

..there was one other thing. We saw a...vision, I guess. It was of the girl, and another kid. From the way it played out, it seemed like something that happened a long time ago. Like the forest was showing it to us or something.

That, and needle-noggin said touching the trees made him see things, but I didn't try that out for myself.

I'll have to ask him. People already told me not to touch the trees.

[It isn't that Livio is afraid, or unwilling to experience pain. Not even close.]

I want to learn as much as I can about this place, the same as anyone, but not if there's a chance it could turn me against someone else.

[... And actually, just to clarify...]

You haven't seen any hint of this other kid?

[There's a pause, as Wolfwood thinks back. He already knows the answer, he just. Knows how insane it sounds, too.]

That other kid...you know that guy with the goat ears that walked into the Inn during the blizzard? Calls himself Kreide.

He was the spitting image of that same kid that was with the girl. I'm sure of it. It's why needle-noggin freaked out when he saw him.

[At first, Livio seems... not disbelieving. More just plain shocked, really, and focused on trying to make sense of it all.]

... People have said we lived here, before. In another life. I don't know if I believe in all that, but it could just be one of the forest's tricks.

[After all, it's a little bit difficult to believe in reality when that reality can clearly be warped at the entity's behest.]

...yeah. Honestly, I don't know if I really believe it either. But there sure are people who do, here.

[Maybe it is all just a trick from the Forest, but...all he knows is that the danger it poses, if nothing else, IS still very real. Real, and terrifying. If it were anyone else other than himself and Vash out there...they would have been killed.]

They're lucky they're all still alive.

Believing too hard in certain things tends to get people into trouble. [Especially if they can't handle themselves, as Wolfwood notes.]

Well... We can't stop other people from making bad decisions, but at least we can fight. I'm willing to, anyway. [He's a lot more confident in his ability to protect, having both of his Fangs. The confidence of someone who hasn't actually had to face the forest yet.]

[Haha yeah, he sure knows that feeling bro.]

So am I. Right now though, it ain't worth goin' out there and getting ourselves killed. Especially not if we can't actually leave.

Apparently, there's this fog that keeps people out of the forest that's been pulled back for a while. I imagine we'll be even more restricted once it rolls back in.

It's usually closer...?

[Livio has never had claustrophobia, exactly, but the more he learns exactly how small the "safe" area is around here, he might be developing it...]

Apparently. That angel kid kept saying it's usually a lot further in towards the buildings. You usually ain't able to go deep into the woods at all, at least not without being able to see the path.

[His sunglasses are supposed to be able to aid with that now, but he doesn't know how deep he'll be able to go in the future using them.]

But. I guess we'll know for sure soon enough.

[A couple of days pass after Wolfwood’s conversation with Vash. He very well could have gone to find him that same day, but as it stands he had no idea he needed some time to chew on it until the aftermath hit, so. It’s still kindof hard for him to believe that Vash would be okay with this, but…he believes him. If there’s anyone he’d believe isn’t lying to him, it’s Vash.

Though, what he doesn’t want to admit to himself is that he’s nervous. Even though the two alluded to the idea when they were under the influence of the chocolates, it’s just as easily possible that Livio didn’t really mean that. It’s hard to say, especially when they didn’t really…talk about it further beyond that one moment in passing.

But he has to talk to him. He wants to.

Wolfwood decides to wait until he knows Livio will be in his room. Best to be someplace like that than catching him outside or at the school.

Livio will hear a soft thump at his door.]

Liv? It’s me.

[it's still chilly enough that livio would much rather be in his inn room than a drafty schoolhouse, so... he sure is in here! wolfwood will hear the soft thunk of an object dropped on a mattress, followed by liv's hurried footsteps toward the door. it's true his footfalls are usually surprisingly light, but... hey, he knows it's nick at the door, so pardon him for being eager.

he does try to restrain himself before he opens the door, though. just a little.]

Hey, Wolfwood -- everythin' alright?

[He shakes his head a little, leaning sideways into the doorframe.]

Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you. Are you busy?

[Who knows maybe Livio is talking to someone on the netbook or was sleeping or doing literally anything else maybe he should just leave this was a dumb idea—

All of that fortunately stays in Wolfwood’s brain. He’s fine.]

[just talk? well, that's -- both intimidating and relieving. nothing is wrong, but he has to be A Person.

it's fine, he's got this.]

No, not at all. Was just lookin' at some o' those recipes. C'mon in.

[... he still doesn't have a chair or anything. so, it's just the two floor mattresses sorry.]

[Oh Livio. Honey.

Wolfwood steps inside and pulls the door shut behind him, sort of eyeballing Livio’s set up here before he has a seat on one of the mattresses, just sitting there cross legged like he belongs there. He does at least kick his shoes off before he does this.]

…yaknow you really gotta just ask Heimr for a bigger bed.

[liv just plops next to wolfwood and blinks at him.]

Why would I do that? This works just fine.

How comfortable is sleeping on mattresses on the floor though? When you could have an actual bed?

[He knows they’re both used to camping on sand by necessity, so it’s not like it’s an ISSUE, but it’s like…why would you choose this, love yourself-

He’s getting. Briefly distracted but this is important.]

This is an actual bed?

[he's so confused why this is even a point of contention. the last time he had a bed this nice was, uh, well... hopeland??]

It’s two mattresses, on the floor-

[He starts to argue, and genuinely he could just derail like this forever and he wouldn’t be mad about it, but.

He came here to talk. Like talk talk. He can only get away with stalling for so long.]

Never mind. We can talk about that later. [Livio you’ll get a third mattress at the house when you start living there dwbi-] I…I uh. Actually…

[Fuck. He knows he’s going to blow at this. Vash is good with the emotional stuff, he isn’t. So trying to even start is a challenge on its own.]

How…have you been doin’ since the whole…everything. That’s been happening. Seeing peoples memories and shit, and all that.

[it's... weird to hear nick stumble over his words. livio's smile falls as he forgets the silly mattress argument in favor of fretting over wolfwood.

ah... did vash tell nick about their... experience?

did nick tell vash about raz?]

... Just trying to get back to normal, I guess. Are you okay?

I’m fine.

[He said while he was not fine, but he’s pushing through the nerves trying to settle into his frame regardless.

He’ll opt to not start with “I just need to talk to you about something” because that’s just going to make Livio anxious for no reason. He needs to not beat around the bush.]

I was talkin’ with Vash about it the other day. And you came up.

[He looks at his hands now held loose between his knees, wishing suddenly he had something to chew on.]

Wasn’t bad or nothin’, before you start to fret. Was actually, uh…

[…]

Do…you remember what I said to you, when we were sitting on the inn couch?

[joke's on wolfwood, livio is already anxious for no reason. even before nick clarifies that it's nothing bad.

but knowing vash and nick did talk about him... livio feels oddly humiliated. he should have left that whole thing alone and not commented on it. what must vash think of him right now?]

We talked a lot. Which part?

Edited 2024-02-27 04:08 (UTC)

…where I said being with you felt right. That part.

You remember it?

[oh, god. what the hell is happening.]

Nick -- tell me you didn't... [didn't what? he isn't sure. wolfwood isn't the type of person to hurt someone without thinking it through, not someone he cares about. but liv can't see how this could possibly be a positive thing. his breathing gets quicker, shallow.]

…Didn’t?

[For better or worse, Wolfwood is just as confused. His expression turns from serious to genuinely confused as he looks up and realizes that Livio looks like he’s got stage fright suddenly. What the fuck-

But then Wolfwood stops and actually thinks about what he just said. And what they’d been talking about, and what Livio said to him…

His gaze narrows.]

Liv. Vash came to me to talk. Not the other way around. He…

[His hands flex on his knees.]

…was talking about how you’re a good person. Not like I didn’t already know that.

[how. how the hell is he a good person? is this the kind of thing a good person does?]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you -- for him to feel... I shouldn't have said anything.

[hey wolfwood sorry neither one your guys can hear a goddamn word you say when they're panicking.]

[Wolfwood looks back over at Livio now, realizing that what he just said went in one ear and out the other.]

Sorry? What do you-

[And then he stops. Backpedals, mentally.]

…what do you think I’m trying to tell you, Livio?

[... sorry, right now livio is just looking up at wolfwood with those stupid fucking puppy eyes all tearing up and everything.]

I --

I'm sorry. I'm... listening.

[best rip the bandaid off, after all, and all that.]

[Wolfwood’s expression, for what it’s worth, does soften a bit. He only has an inkling of what the fuck might be going on in that giant head of his, after all. It can’t be anything good, given he looks like he’s about to burst into tears.]

He told me how good of a person you were. And that you deserved to be happy. Which…he’s right. You do.

I don’t really know how else to say this, but. Vash…he. He suggested that our relationship be open.

[He’s trying so hard not to look away, but now he feels like his whole body is on fire.]

He gave me permission to…be with you. And him. Both of you.

Only. If you wanted that.

[.............]

Huh?!

[DON’T LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT

LIKE HE GETS IT BUT DONT—]

Yeah. That’s what I said.

Look, I get if you don’t. I just.

[…]

I love you just as much as I love him, okay? You both fill parts of me that have been broken…and. Empty. For a long time.

Even if you don’t want nothin’ to do with any of it, I want you to know that much at least.

[livio's brain is just... having a Time trying to process all of this. it was one thing for wolfwood to call him handsome, hot even. those were... superficial things. not that livio thinks he meant them that way, but... love? the kind of love wolfwood has with vash? the kissing and living together and emotional and physical intimacy kind of love? the kind of love that makes him feel... less broken?

he's on the verge of crying or overheating or possibly both. his voice comes out choked.]

Me, Nick? Me? ... We're not kids anymore. Please don't tease me.

…fuckin’ hell, Liv.

[Wolfwood exhales on a shuddering laugh, though it’s not humor at Livio’s expense. Far from it. In fact, Wolfwood is having a hard enough time keeping himself relatively put together as it is.]

Do you know how hard this is for me? For me to just…say shit like this? And you think I could be teasing you?

[Wolfwood looks up at Livio, now, and pulls off his sunglasses, putting them aside on the floor. He needs to be able to look at Livio directly, and maybe being able to see the dampness clinging to his lashes will make Livio understand.]

You don’t know how happy I was to see you, you know? Because the last time I saw you? The last time I saw you, you put a bullet in your brain and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop you. But here you’re…here. And you remember me. You’re alive, and everything’s better now-

[He has to look away again, because he’s pretty sure he’s going to be the one to start crying if he doesn’t. So he just grits his teeth, staring at the floor.]

So yes. You. You’re the reason I kept going back then. I don’t know if I’ll ever beat into that thick skull of yours how much you mean to me, but it doesn’t matter anyway.

[He scrubs the heel of his hand over his cheekbone, huffing.]

…I’m not gonna waste this chance to be happy. Not this time.

[well. wolfwood was right -- seeing him this emotional does indeed fully convince livio, even in all his self-doubt, that this is real. the guilt is instant, for upsetting nick this badly... but liv has to find that delicate balance between admitting he messed up and martyring himself, because the latter would only make it worse.

his hand raises up, coming to rest over nick's. maybe his other hand will search the opposite cheek for runaway tears, should any be found. he tries so hard to keep his touch light and gentle that his hands shake. or maybe it's because of how overwhelmed with emotion he is.]

I'm sorry. I don't... mean to doubt you.

[what else does he say? he has to say something. but fuck. he barely understands what's going on in his own head and heart. his breaths still shake as he tries to show wolfwood the same vulnerability -- trust.]

Nicholas, I... I love you. More than anyone or anything. It's -- hard to believe I could mean as much to you, too.

[The touch to his face, though unexpected, is not unwelcome. Livio’s hands are large and warm- safe- and Wolfwood finds himself leaning into the contact, even if it means Livio has to see him actually getting all choked up over this. It’s not like him to be this emotional. To cry.]

Start believing it, cause you do.

[He falls silent for a moment after that, toeing a line between staying where he is, and coming closer. For now, he leaves that up to Livio, because he has more he wants to say.]

…I dunno how it went for you. But I left Hopeland, hopin’ you’d be able to stay and live a normal life. …obviously that ain’t what happened, for either of us. But you still deserve to be happy, no matter how much you’ve fucked up.

Someone…a lot kinder than me taught me that.

[He ducks his head forwards, his hair falling into his eyes.]

I know this is a lot. I don’t wanna make you feel like you need to tell me any one thing, or…like you should know the answer right away. But if…if you wanna try.

[…]

The idea of being with you two feels unreal. Like it’s too lucky to be happening to me. [He shrugs a shoulder, closing his eyes and once more leaning into Livio’s hand.] And I know Vash wants you to be happy just as much as I do. Otherwise he wouldn’t’a brought it to me in the first place.

[even now, livio doesn't believe he does deserve that. but he's just a man, and people are selfish by nature to some extent. holding wolfwood the way he is right now, livio can't imagine ever willingly letting go, even though it feels so, so greedy.]

Vash is... such a kind person. [even after the whole debacle over the holidays. he came around. he put nick first, in the end.] I'm so glad you have someone like him.

[and nick is right. it doesn't feel real. even talking about it doesn't feel real. livio's thumbs caress at wolfwood's cheekbones as his mind spins so fast he can barely form a coherent thought. it takes far too long for him to speak again, and when he does, he has to practically force his mind to just... turn off, so his heart can speak. his own tears finally spill just as the words do.]

I -- I've never wanted anything as much as I want you, Nick.

[Well. That right there is his answer, isn’t it?

Wolfwood heaves out another wheezing laugh, only this one sounds a lot more relieved. And when he reaches up to put his free hand over Livio’s, it’s with purpose. Meaning. Every callous and every scar on his fingertips were for the sake of Livio. For every child at Hopeland. He still doesn’t think he fully grasps the gravity of that, but maybe someday he will.

Right now, he doesn’t need to. There’s a lot for them both to grapple with as it is, even as Wolfwood finally manages to open his eyes again and peer up at Livio through blurred vision.]

You’re still such a crybaby.

[there's a choked sound partway between a laugh and a sob from livio as well when he feels wolfwood's hand over his.]

Ah... yeah. Sorry. [he says it in good humor, not like he actually feels guilty for it. he recognizes real teasing when he sees it, especially since it's gentle.]

And stop apologizin’ for everything. It’s okay.

[Wolfwood’s voice is a little lower now, softer. It’s because he’s trying to make his body language less closed off and anxious, opening himself up a little. It’s inviting.

If Livio wants a hug, now Is The Time.]

[bro, fuck hugs. he is once again staring with those big eyes.]

Can I...

[aaand he chickens out. wraps his arms around nick's shoulders and presses his forehead to the side of wolfwood's neck. hug is much less intimidating, yeah.]

[Livio would not be asking if he “can” for something as simple as a hug. He doesn’t hug everyone indiscriminately obviously, but hugs with Wolfwood at least are an exception. They’ve kindof reached that point, especially with all they’ve been through lately.

So as Livio surges forward for an embrace, Wolfwood sinks into it easily. He lifts his arms up to return it, letting Livio’s head rest against his neck. And like before, it feels.

Right. It’s just right.

…but it isn’t enough.

Which is why Wolfwood turns his head just a fraction without pulling away from Livio entirely, and presses his lips to his temple. It’s done at the same time he lifts a hand to very gently brush his fingers through the shorter hair at the nape of Livio’s neck.]

I love you. Don’t you go forgetting that after today, or I’ll kick your ass.

[between the hand in his hair and the kiss, livio shivers against wolfwood. it does feel like he belongs here, just as much as it feels unreal and overwhelming. his whole face grows hot, almost just like it did back in the lobby that day, including a feeling of lightheadedness.]

I won't, Nico. I promise. And please don't ever forget that I love you, too.

It’s a promise, then. On both our ends.

[That’s one of the few things he feels confident enough to genuinely promise. That he’ll never stop loving him, no matter what happens.

And for a long moment, it’s just this. A communal silence, their embrace. Wolfwood taking a turn to rest his cheek against Livio’s shoulder, absently pulling his fingers through his hair.

Then:]

You “can”, by the way.

[as time stretches on, livio almost feels content. just enjoying the touch of their bodies against each other, the movement of their breathing, the sensation of a hand brushing his hair.

then nick says that and livio's heart kickstarts. he's still for another long moment afterward, then he sniffles and wipes at his eyes and cheeks behind wolfwood's back.

when he leans back enough to look at nick, his brows are pulled up above Those Eyes and his copper-flushed cheeks. meeting nick's gaze -- warm, even if wolfwood might not admit it -- livio almost forgets what they'd just promised. he's so scared to lose this moment and any chance at something similar in the future. but nick was the one to bring this whole thing forth, and it's only fair that liv make an effort, too, no matter how daunting it may be. so with all the nervousness of a schoolkid with a crush, he leans in to tentatively press his lips to nick's.]

[This is why Wolfwood wanted to give Livio room to initiate. Not just to bolster his confidence, but just to give him the choice to take it that one step further or not. So when he decides yes, I will actually…Wolfwood’s shoulders sag with relief.

It’s like something he’d been waiting for all along. He just never knew.

Their arms still around one another, Wolfwood tilts his head just a bit to facilitate Livio’s kiss, making the angle just a bit more comfortable for both of them. Of course, their big noses still clonk together a little, but that’s fine. Wolfwood is still smiling through it regardless, tasting of cigarettes.

It doesn’t linger overly long. Just as long as it needs to, even though Wolfwood feels himself linger with their breath mingling even after they part. He chuckles against Livio’s lips.]

There you go.

[maybe they don't fit quite so perfect together right now, but that's okay. they make it work, give and take, and that makes it just right. livio is so wrapped up in nick that it feels like no time at all passes by the time their lips part, and he still finds himself almost greedily inhaling wolfwood's smoky breath, so distinctly him. his smile is so wide it forces his eyes closed.]

Hahah... I -- didn't realize how long I've wanted to do that.

Yeah? Keep talkin’, my ego needed to be bigger.

[Wolfwood murmurs, brushing their noses together. Get nuzzled, nerd.]

You can have one any time you’d like. Free of charge.

[And if Livio thought he wasn’t going to be embarrassing and teasing about it will guess what-]

[as if livio would be opposed to any of it? please. he's nuzzing right back and laughing warmly.]

Oh? D'you charge Vash for 'em, Saint Nick?

Sure did. One shell per kiss on the cheek. Two if he wants lips.

[This is a lie. He’s lying to you right now-]

[lord help them both, liv is straight up giggling.]

Boy, I feel special, then.

[And that goes straight to his heart. Ow. Liv you can’t do this to him, you can’t be this sweet.]

You are.

[He reminds, clonking their heads together gently.]

…mind if I stay a while? We’ve got lost time to catch up on.

[He doesn’t want to be overwhelming, but also…he doesn’t want to leave yet.]

[at the mere implication that wolfwood might leave so soon, liv slips his arm around nick's waist to hold him there. his grip isn't painful, but it sure as hell isn't shy like most of his touches are.]

Y'ain't goin' anywhere if I can help it.

[Now that’s more like it. Livio might as well have cracked the code, because Wolfwood practically guffaws again, immediately dropping his head on Livio’s shoulder again.]

Haha, a’ight. I didn’t wanna leave anyway.

[He gives Livio another squeeze.]

Kindof different from you fallin’ asleep on me all the time at Hopeland. But also exactly the same.

[even if wolfwood can't see it, livio's smile is so wide it hurts. he tilts his head just enough to press a kiss or two in nick's hair.]

Yeah?

Is it okay to ask what I was like?

Course.

[Wolfwood closes his eyes, because at lease recalling this is a happy memory.]

You came in just like all the other orphaned kids do. You were scrawny, if you’d believe it. And you spent the first couple days keepin’ me awake at night crying. So one day, I decided to ask you if that’s all you were gonna do from now on.

[He sighs, deeply.]

Kinda took you under my wing after that. We fed the chicks together, played together…I somehow convinced you to smoke with me behind Miss Melanie’s back, one day. You were always dogging my heels…but I didn’t mind it. It was nice to…yaknow. Have somebody that I wasn’t just taking care of. You were somebody I could actually be friends with.

[Wolfwood starts to lean to one side, suddenly, and if Livio allows it, he’ll pitch them over so they’re laying down.]

Then I was taken away. And I figured I’d never see you again. To this day, I dunno how you ended up with them, but I figure it’s the same thing that happened with you.

Cept you never bulked up for some reason. Alternate universe you had other priorities, I guess.

[liv is surprised, but not unpleasantly. he's more than okay with lying down together -- even takes a moment to gently push his cookbook off the mattress so they have more room. (petunia Stays, though.) then that hand lifts up to nick's hair and strokes through it thoughtfully.]

I didn't see you get taken... I'd already run away. If I'd known... [he would have followed. he would follow wolfwood anywhere, but he doesn't need to say so out loud in this moment. nick already knows.]

... Nicholas, I want you to know it doesn't matter to me that you're different. You're just as much mine as the you I grew up with. [especially if the history of the grove is to be believed in. in a way, that makes this nick even more "his." they've known each other across lifetimes, now. it feels like they're fated to be together, like the corniest cheap romance novel. he bets nick would laugh at him if he said as much out loud.]

[He imagines the sequence of events is a bit different in some way, despite it all leading to the same outcome. Perhaps they turned out a little different. And maybe the Nicholas that Livio knew was different. But hearing him say that…

He huffs, leaning back just enough so he can look him in the eyes.]

Yeah? Cause I was thinkin’ the same thing.

[He shifts just a little, his hair fanned out on the mattress under his head.]

Bet he’s not as cool as I am, though.

[the eye contact and just the look of him laid out on livio's bed is more than enough to bring a flush back to liv's face.]

You are pretty damn cool. Beautiful, too. Or -- d'you prefer "handsome?" [added with a nervous little laugh.] I think you're both.

You can call me anything you want, baby.

[He’s smirking up at Livio now, eyes half shut.]

All of the above, maybe? Like the sound’a that…

[it feels just a little ridiculous that "baby" makes him even redder, but liv doesn't fight it. just chuckles some more.]

I'll keep my options open, then, hot stuff.

[he's just pulling these out of his ass at this point. fuck if he knows whether people actually call their significant other that. what he does know is that wolfwood is looking awfully kissable right now, so by golly, he's going in.]

[Judging by the way Wolfwood snorts when he says it, he certainly wasn’t expecting to be called that at least. He appreciates Livio trying though, it’s cute. Hot stuff…

When he sees him coming in for a kiss, it’s one happily received. It’s actually a little thrilling, to have someone Livio’s size leaning over him like that. Like, he’s not (strictly) a bottom, but-

He reaches up to wrap his arms more fully around Livio’s neck again, kissing him slow and lazy. It’s nothing incredibly deep, but it’s not the chaste smooches from before. And if Livio suddenly feels Wolfwood’s tongue dart out for a taste of his lips, don’t worry about it.]

[it feels... so nice, and deceptively peaceful, to be able to lie here with nick and laugh and kiss. it's almost enough for even livio's subconscious to forget they're trapped in a place that wants them to suffer. almost.

as it is, outwardly, he follows wolfwood's lead, keeping a relaxed pace. his lips willingly part at the slight prod, and an almost whiny sigh escapes at the same time. his fingers flex, tugging slightly at nick's hair before he eases them to massage at his scalp instead.]

[Deceptively peaceful is right...though, it's not like they're in No Man's Land right now. They don't have to worry about Chapel, or the Eye. They don't have to worry about the orphanage being in danger, because it's not here. Maybe there's something to be said about not being home to know what's happening in their absence, if anything, but...Wolfwood can't say that's at the forefront of his mind currently.

For now, they're safe. Everything is okay. Nothing can get them in here, and even if it could, it wouldn't last long between the two of them.

It's nice to be able to just be. That's not a luxury either of them have been afforded since they were kids, which is why Wolfwood isn't rushing this. He's paying attention to Livio and his reactions, and judging by the sound he made just then? He's enjoying it, which is good.

Wolfwood, in contrast, groans at the slight tug to his hair. He likes that, thank you, more of that please. Maybe he'll try to encourage it by giving Livio's hair a slight tug of his own just before deepening the kiss proper the moment Livio allows it.]

[livio doesn't stand a chance of maintaining any semblance of composure, between the noise wolfwood makes and the tug in his own hair. he moans openly into nick's mouth, then fears melting both of their faces off from how hot the immediate embarrassment makes him.

maybe it's enough to distract himself by complying with wolfwood's desires, reaching up to work a second hand into his hair and balling strands up in between his fists. still restrained, always far more gentle than he could be. his tongue prods the intrusion of nick's shyly. also as always, livio is slightly overwhelmed but desperately trying to keep pace with his beloved nicholas.]

[Wolfwood's just fine with this much. He doesn't want to push too far, yet at the same time he's desperately hungry for more, now that he's been given a taste. And who can blame him, really? Especially with the knowledge that he can have this. That it's okay.

It's so freeing. A little overwhelming, too. But overall, just...

Wonderful.

He won't keep Livio pinned in the kiss for too long, at least. Just long enough to make it a proper make-out session before he pulls away with a soft sound, humming under his breath. God, that sound Livio just made...]

You're a good kisser.

[who is keeping whomst pinned... this is the real question. livio just bats those lashes at wolfwood and stares, dazed and smitten, at him from above once the kiss ends. it takes him a few seconds to process the words and formulate a response.]

... I am?

You are.

I'm only so good as the person I'm kissin'.

[He chuckles as he says this, pulling his fingers again through the back of Livio's hair.]

You gonna keep growin' this out? I'm gonna need a little more to grab onto, I think.

[livio tries so hard to keep the sound in his throat a hum and not let it grow any deeper. he deserves praise. his hair is decent by now, just at his shoulders when down, but... god.]

Yeah. Yeah, as long as y'want it, darlin'.

[Darlin'? Oh, god, that actually makes Wolfwood giggle. Lord help him, christ.]

Haha, okay, you're startin' to get too good at that.

[oh... nicholas is so cute, actually. livio can't imagine many people alive have ever even heard that sound... he does feel awfully special, actually.]

At what?

You keep pullin' pet names outta your ass.

[He shoves Livio lightly as he says that before dropping his head against his shoulder again, mostly so he can hide how fiercely he's started blushing.]

You're gonna kill me.

[oh no... too bad this is PRIME real estate for hair nuzzles!]

Don't die, hon... [oh. he laughs at himself quietly.] Ah... oops?

Aghhhh, stooop.

[Wolfwood shakes his head, burying his face against Livio's neck. ...only to plant a kiss there because he has to get back at him somehow.]

I really have created a monster, fuck's sake.

[at least wolfwood gets the satisfaction of coaxing a shiver and some goosebumps out of livio, so he has that going for him.]

Sorry... [he doesn't sound sorry at all.]

[He knows you're not sorry at all. God. >|

He will give Livio a squeeze though, sighing much like a contented animal might. He loves to cuddle with Vash, don't get him wrong, but...there's something to be said about cuddling with Livio. There's so much of him to hug.]

You're gonna make up for it by lettin' me sleep here tonight.

[... ah. and just like that, livio is the flustered one once again.]

I am?

I mean -- 'course you am. You can! Ah...

If you wanna, of course. I just...

[Wolfwood shrugs one shoulder, somehow managing to cuddle even closer to Livio than he had before.]

I don't really wanna get up.

[liv sure as shit isn't complaining. he settles down onto his side and pulls nick close by the waist. even manages to yoink his blanket over -- well, mostly over wolfwood. livio himself is plenty warm.]

Can stay as long as y'want, Nico...

[The way Livio pulls him in like that gets Wolfwood grinning again to himself, his head still tucked comfortably against his neck. He knows that with the blanket pulled over them he isn't going to be much longer for this world, which is fine. Vash knew he'd be coming over, so he can just assume this is what ended up happening if he simply does not return. He is with Livio, he's safe, he didn't get sucked in by the forest or anything dramatic like that.]

Good. And...keep callin' me that, too. I like it.

[Livio is the only one in the world who is allowed. Sometimes Vash, but...mostly Livio.]

[he smiles into wolfwood's hair.]

Will do, Nico.

[as for livio... he'll probably spend the better part of the night waiting to wake up. because surely this part is the dream.]

[cw: disordered eating and sleeping, dissociation, religious trauma, mentions of child abuse.]

between checking on angelina and elsword, livio has other obligations to attend. before the bonfire broke apart his world, he had already given his word, either aloud or silently, to many others. as much as he wants to lie down and cease to be for a while, he knows in his heart that nothing he could do would make wolfwood sadder.

so he holds himself to his promises.

he builds a minimal shrine to the behemoth. it's more of an offering plate, really; smaller rocks in a half-circle partially surround one large, flat stone a few feet from the riverbank. the central "platter" stone soaks up some of the blood of his first official tribute, marking its significance if the deliberate arrangement of the rocks didn't already do so.

he spends another day or two at the river, scattering cattail seeds along the shore and seeking out quiet coves with mostly still, shallow water to sow duckweed.

he walks the perimeter of town. any vines or particularly hardy weeds that seem to be choking trees or bushes, he plucks as respectfully as he can manage. unless, of course, they're black. those, he sets aside to burn. maybe he should feel differently about that, given... everything, but it feels the safest bet. and after he makes his rounds, he harvests a handful of blackberries and a lemon to offer to moder. the lemons are odd, in a word, and likely as sour as any, but they're fruit nonetheless, after all.

even collecting and ensuring future food for the guardians, he forgets to feed himself. he can't sleep; doesn't even try most nights, simply wanders the floor of vash's house or the shore of the river or the paths around town. when he does lay in bed, it's sleepless, just staring up at the ceiling and feeling how heavy his eyelids weigh without ever actually letting them close.

yet, it's all exhausting. livio already feels like he's only half present, though it isn't in the same way as when razlo scratches at the surface. it feels more like his body is on autopilot, but every movement still tires him. he feels weary in his bones, in his soul. he almost wants to pretend that this is just a long nightmare, a dream state like he's already experienced many a time in the grove. but the angry scars on his arm, legs, and torso are undeniable reminders of reality, and the power wielded by the ever-looming false god.

god.

livio is painfully near willing to believe that the creature is closer to god than any deity he's ever worshipped. the merciful god miss melanie tried to show him wouldn't rip out from under him a second chance with his best friend and first love. the wrathful god his father and chapel brought him to heel to always felt more like a convenient excuse to abuse him than the divine. not that the creature is much different from the latter. the only difference is its undeniable presence. now, he has seen it. heard it. as much as he's discouraged others from giving it the power of belief, livio feels absolutely crushed under the enormity of its might.

livio doesn't pray to god any longer. he prays in the dirt at the foot of wolfwood's grave to the punisher. he prays to nicholas for the strength to carry on without him once again. prays that vash, wherever he is, will come home safe one of these days. prays that he can care for angelina well. prays that nothing like that night ever happens again. more than anything, on all these sleepless nights, he prays for forgiveness. that nicholas would pardon him for allowing history to repeat itself.

and in spite of his own constant, desperate pleas, he prays that nicholas can rest.

he buys two enchanted plants. they're hardy, but he'll tend them regularly nonetheless. heimr says chamomile aids one's sleep. livio places one pot beside the punisher. the other, he takes to the manor. for a while, he's laid wildflowers purchased or picked at audrey's gravesite. he'll keep doing so, he thinks, but she deserves something alive, unwilting, too. the other pot rests next to her headstone and its cloth flowers.

even if the living can't rest, livio continues praying that the dead might be able to.

Edited 2024-03-08 03:51 (UTC)

[ Watching Livio ghost around the Grove after Wolfwoods death had set Pure Vanilla upon a mission. The problem is finding the balance - as well as finding the man. After the meeting, Pure Vanilla had started as he had before. Though it's probably no secret who it all comes from, Pure Vanilla lays food and drink in spots he knows Livio frequents. The problem with this, is he knows Livio will more than likely ignore them or offer them up to the guardians in turn. Which is fine, and sweet, but leaves the man unfed.

So that means tracking him down, and gently bullying the bigger man into some food. Like before, he made sandwiches, and made them bite sized. Easily picked at pieces, that can be eaten over time, as the stomach can handle. Sweetened lemonade with the odd lemons.

Something to give him energy, to nourish his body.

He travels the places he's seen Livio frequent: the school, Wolfwoods grave. He doesn't know he stays at Vash's as well, though he has checked on the house from time to time to see if his friend is there (another disappearance...?). ]

[pv has livio's number. he may take a bite here or there before he finds something else to feed the remainder to, but at least he makes an effort to drink, and return the dishes to the inn kitchen afterward. it keeps him from collapsing from dehydration and gives him something to do every so often, so... it's nice.

despite being aware that pure vanilla knows his frequent haunts, it doesn't occur to him that they might actually run into each other again. today, he's sat against the wall inside the school. just on the floor. he has company in the form of a cat-shaped fir plantimal curled up beside him, so at least he isn't alone alone.

still, his lips part in surprise when pure vanilla enters with fresh sustenance to inflict upon him.

... why is he still trying, when livio has obviously given up?]

[ Ah. There he is. Though truth be told, he was not expecting to enter and have the man right there on the floor, so he stops in surprise, the Staff wobbling in the crook of his arm as he holds the tray of dishes with both hands. And if the Eye darts back and forth quickly to check Livio over - why is he on the floor - well that's just a healers natural desire to make sure everything is all right. He's fine. Playing with an adorable little plantimal. That actually eases his heart more than empty dishes does. Livio is not entirely alone. Which had been the biggest concern, and one Pure Vanilla hadn't figured out how to approach without simply asking the man to help him with things day in and day out. ]

There you are. I hope I am not interrupting?

[ Other than moping, that can be interrupted. Pure Vanilla carefully let's the door close behind him, shifting his Staff for a better view as he makes his way over, hooves clicking. He hasn't visited the School properly, though he has it listed on his places to investigate, after his talk with Ydalir, so he does look around a little, a soft smile on his face. ]

[well, the good news is livio's been working on it for a while, so the entryway, at least, is fairly tidy. the bloodstains are (mostly) scrubbed off, and there are patches of new planks where, presumably, old ones had broken. there are tools and more planks piled up against one of the walls, as well, for repairs further inside.

livio shrugs uncomfortably, hands never really leaving his lap where he wrings them. being faced with pv requires far more energy than simply dealing with the snacks he leaves behind.]

Wasn't doing anything, no.

Excellent, then perhaps can you help me?

[ He smiles and lifts the tray up, before transferring it to one hand, so he can take his staff and set it aside with the other. ]

I made too much food, and was wondering if you would like to help me finish it off?

[ Listen, he can say it, because technically the truth. He will take the tray with both hands again, and cheerfully plunk it into Livios lap.

Mindful of the plantimal baby. ]

[livio almost perks up. having someone else to focus on is a lot easier than motivating himself to take care of himself.

... except. ah. it's a trick. liv's gaze shoots off to the side right after he lays eyes on the food. he's been having mouthfuls here and there, so much so that the sight of this alone makes him feel almost ill.

well, if it's any consolation, the cat off to the side peeks an eye open. anything tasty in that sandwich? meat, perhaps?]

... I'm not feeling well. Surely there's someone else you can share your... surplus... food with?

[ Oh? Pure Vanilla catches that mild interest. He will latch on to that. And smile a little as Livio averts his gaze from the food. He kneels beside the man to pick apart one of the pieces of sandwich, and hold the meat out to the cat when it at least shows interest. Hope it likes something called roast beef, Pure Vanilla really has no idea what it is other than it's meat and is icky. ]

Ah, if you are not feeling well, my friend, then do not worry over it. It will keep for later.

[ Still, having hunted the man down, he's not going to let him slide away. Grandpa brain is already rotating. The man likes to be useful...? ]

Are you feeling well to perhaps show me around the school? I admit, I have done a preliminary look myself, but have not really toured it.

[ He can see the repairs being done, reaching out for his Staff to help it look around so he can really study them. ]

Edited 2024-03-13 01:36 (UTC)

[oh, kitty rumbles as she noms that roast beast.

and livio side-eyes the both of them as he sets the tray aside.]

... She says thanks.

[anyway, moving on.]

Yeah, I could do that. It isn't all clean, though...

She is very welcome! She's very adorable as well.

[ Straightening up after, he offers Livio a smile that's beginning to border on mid-range laser blast, tilting his head after to look around. ]

That doesn't matter, my friend. It can be cleaned up and repaired, which I see you have already started on.

[ Oh yeah, he can easily guess those repairs are Livios. The man hangs out here enough.

And despite the obvious size difference and the fact that Livio could probably body him, he holds his hand out to Livio to help him up, smiling. ]

[yeah, that sandwich is gonna be torn apart by the time they get back. but that's fine. at least it won't go to waste.

livio doesn't really feel like contact, but he remembers vividly how much it once upset vash that he shied away from something similar. he allows pv to take his hand, but still pushes himself up off of the ground without putting any strain on the minotaur-cookie. then his hand falls again.]

Yeah. It just felt really... sad. Kids spent a lot of their lives in here. I know it was a long time ago, but...

[ There's a surprising strength in that grip, though Pure Vanilla can see Livio is making sure to not place any weight on him. The man is incredibly kind, and Pure Vanilla won't keep the grip longer than necessary so Livio doesn't feel crowded. As he undoubtedly already does. ]

But there was love here, once. And laughter.

[ His expression says he understands, as he settles his staff right, to walk and view. It's dark now. Dirty. Grown weary. Rot settling in it's boards, blood rusting it's floors. He sighs softly. ]

And you can't stand to see it be quietly consumed by the silence and darkness.

[he leads pure vanilla around, slowly but surely. lockers scrubbed and shined, some classrooms fallen apart and a couple maintained and set back up in proper order. an observatory with no telescope. a library as clean and tidy as the lobby. mostly empty offices save for desks and filing cabinets, also straightened out.]

... Exactly.

[livio glances sidelong at pv. people as gentle and understanding as him are rare... and probably more than a little sad, deep down.]

It is public, so... you're welcome to come whenever you'd like. Just please be careful where I haven't gotten to repairs.

[ Oh! The Library! Pure Vanilla obviously perks upon seeing it, his tail wiggling excitedly. He was told to check around here for where he might have hidden information to himself, from himself. He will have to come here after... And the observatory! Tail goes brrbrbrbrbrbr. The offices make him glance with a little smile, and of course he's interested, but he's not going to just start browsing with Livio so kindly showing him around.]

Oh, thank you! Please, let me aid you in the repairs? My Kingdom had a small school I lead for the healing arts, and I must admit, seeing the school in such a state stirs more than a little desire to see it shine once again.

[ The observatory might be replaced with a greenhouse, considering the state of the sky. ]

[while it isn't enough to get him to smile, livio does feel some sort of relief at seeing pure vanilla enjoying himself. it's reassuring that somebody can still find things to be pleased with after what they learned at the meeting. not that livio realizes how fired up pretty much everyone else is, seeing as he left.]

You can if you'd like. Just don't push yourself. [pv IS over 1000 years old, after all. that can't be kind on the knees.]

... What was your healing school like?

[ If only Livio knew how close Pure Vanilla always was to the edge. It's something he will never tell anyone. Instead he focuses on the now and attempts to bring joy to those around him. So when Livio says yes, he beams and begins to look around to take a better stock of the situation. Things that need to be replaced, shored up. Pure Vanilla is going to poke and prod, shockingly spry for a man in his thousands THANK YOU. The power of anime and souljam. ]

It was small, barely more than a few rooms, but it was enough. Cookies from all over Earthbread would come to the Kingdom to study there, and hone their healing crafts. You will recall our talk about the medicinal properties of plants? Those that found they did not have a magic touch, could practice the art of Herbology as well. All were welcome, so long as their hearts were filled with the will to help others.

[ As he speaks, Pure Vanilla tests floorboards cautiously with his staff, ears flicking and perking to the ones that squish or squeak. ]

It is much smaller now, due to a tragic event I must pass on speaking about [ He doesn't want to sadden them both any further than Livio already is ] but the principles are the same. Those with the desire to aid those in need are welcome, and I will teach all who wish to learn.

Herbology...? [as far as he knows, livio sure as hell doesn't have a "magic touch." and while he isn't so naive as to think some plants would stop someone from dying in dire straits...]

All? [it doesn't occur to him that he might be acting a bit presumptuous until after he's spoken, and maybe not even then.] Would you teach people here?

Yes! Though I am unsure of other worlds plants, there were quite a few back home that had incredible properties when used right. I am sure with enough time, we can discover similar ones here. They can cure illnesses as well as ward off disease.

[ Hm, squeaky floor, avoid that. The question makes him pause and turn to Livio, his smile softening. ]

Of course I would. Should they wish to learn, and desire to aid those around them, then I will do my utmost to teach them what I can.

[when he hears the boards creak, livio turns as if ready to catch pv should he fall.] Careful...

[... but peepaw is capable of taking care of himself, so livio glances away sheepishly when face to face with him.]

Well, uh... When we get this place cleaned up enough to use the classrooms, sign me up.

[ Livio you are absolutely the sweetest. Pure Vanilla has such a soft spot for people like you. ]

My friend, it would be my honor to teach you what I know. Whatever you may wish to learn. If you wish to learn before the School is properly fixed, please simply seek me out. I am always available should you need me.

[it's small, so much so that it's hardly there at all, but livio manages a skittish smile.]

You're already volunteering to help patch the place up. I don't wanna add to your plate.

[ A smile is a smile, and he knows Livio doesn't have much to smile about right now, so even that tiny nervous one? Warms Pure Vanilla's heart. ]

Oh, please don't worry yourself with such an idea. It would be my pleasure. Knowledge should be shared, after all. And there will be moments where there is no work to be done on the School, by weather or lack of material. Or mayhap a simple desire to get away and take a break.

[liv is starting to understand that this is just the sort of person pv is, even if he feels like he doesn't deserve it.]

Thank you, Pure Vanilla Cookie. [yeah he's still saying that --] Y'know, if you ever need anything, you can always ask me, too.

[ The full use of his name makes him smile fondly. Someday he hopes Livio will be comfortable enough dropping the Cookie part. ]

I know, my friend, and I thank you, for having such a kind heart to offer such in your period of grieving. All I ask of from you for now, is to care for yourself. Treat yourself with as much kindness as you would treat others. I know it is a difficult request, but may I have your word you will try? It would ease my heart.

[good lord, pv is going to be the death of him. as always, liv doesn't feel like he deserves to be treated with kindness. in a way, he thinks watching nick die again and being abandoned by vash is exactly what was always coming to him. how can he promise to be kind to himself when he knows he's guilty?

but then, how can he deny such a heartfelt request? wouldn't that be the greater sin? pure vanilla is the one present, right here, after all.]

... I'll do my best. You have my word.

Thank you, Livio. That is all I will ask for, and I appreciate it far more than words can convey.

[ Here he hesitates a little. He doesn't want to keep intruding on Livio, knowing the man might want some alone time still, but there's a larger part of him that doesn't want the man to spiral by himself. So, best to ask. ]

I do not wish to keep pushing my company on you past your comfort, so please allow my to ask. Would you like to be alone now?

[he pauses to really give it thought. his first instinct is to say that he doesn't want to be alone, actually... but considering what he just promised... hm.]

... It isn't that you're pushing, or that I'm uncomfortable... but I think I should probably try to go get some sleep. I... haven't, really, since... [... yeah.]

[ Livio. He sighs softly, then looks around the school thoughtfully, giving the other a... sort of amused, playful look. ]

In an actual bed, correct?

[ If you try to fall asleep here on the floor, SIR... ]

[he just! blinks!]

Uh... Where else? [maybe he pouts a little...] If you've heard anything about a couple mattresses on the floor, I still think that's a real bed... but that's at my place. There's an actual bed at... Vash's.

[ Well, at least it's not on the bare floor itself. And he can understand not wanting to go to Vash's. But. No, that won't do. Not while the man is so low. ]

Mmm... may I ask something else of you? Stay at my place for the night?

[ It's an innocent request for the former Cookie, it was common practice to offer room to someone who needed sleep. And a couple mattresses on the floor sounds... uncomfortable. And if he sleeps in the school, where it's so dirty and falling down around his ears. Absolutely not. ]

[livio shakes his head. pv doesn't understand all the circumstances, that's all.]

Angelina's at their -- at his place. I've been lookin' after her, and I don't wanna throw her for a bigger loop than all this mess already is.

Oh! Do not let me take your time further from her then, my friend! But please, remember my offer stands, my door is always open. For you and Angelina both.

[ Whoever or whatever Angelina is. ]

... Thank you.

Maybe I'll bring her around to see you once things calm down. [things are pretty calm, now. it's mostly his own warring issues he means.] ... You are okay with dogs, right?

Ah, dog like the one by the manor?

[ Rusty, and let PV tell you, to him, that's a weird looking hound. ]

I am! It will not be a problem! Now shoo, you need rest. I will stay around here for the time being, if you do not mind, and see what I can do on my own to fix some things up.

( bingbong

aka

open. the door. stop. having it be closed. )

[guess who finally fell asleep cuddling the dog? and is now awake? THIS GUY!

when he opens the door, his bleariness melts away instantly.]

Nene? Is everything okay?

Mom says it's time to get Mr. Wolfwood. But last time, the forest took Felicity's arm- if the price is that big again, I'll need help. Will you come with me?

[... this isn't just a hypothetical thing? it's really happening?

fuck.

if it means he gets to see nick again, fine, he won't question it. just ruffle angelina's head before he follows nene out.]

Yeah, of course. [to nene. and then to the pup,] I'll be back soon, Angel. I promise.

( she holds out her hand, and once he's ready, she leads him into the night.

it feels like both a painfully long walk, and an incredibly short one. nene's quiet, but if livio wants to speak, she'll humor it. )

[maybe he should be paying attention to where they're going, but his mind is running away from him far too quickly. he just stares at the ground, clutching her hand silently and oh so carefully.

before they reach their destination, though, he does have the wherewithal to say:]

... Thank you.

... This won't be easy, so maybe you shouldn't thank me yet. You'll have to witness him go through something terrible and painful, and you will know you can't protect him.

Powerlessness is a heavy burden.

[... ah. he didn't realize that they have to... witness it. he's never dealt with any of this, save for offering nene his coat and blanket for felicity, back then. part of him figured that... whatever happens to people, already happened by the time they got there.

he sucks in a deep breath after a while.]

Not like I haven't been through that plenty already. I'm still grateful.

... And it can't be easy for you, either.

It isn't, no. But it's hardly the worst I've experienced.

( she squeezes his large hand in her very small one, and then continues walking. )

[he tries not to give empty platitudes for this sort of thing if he can help it, he really does, but... livio already feels extremely powerless against the forest, of late. he doesn't know what else to say. he can't fix the damage or prevent her from being hurt further.]

I'm sorry.

Don't be. I brought this upon myself in the end. ... And someone has to make sure you can come home after the unthinkable.

I don't think... showing kindness should be seen as bringing something evil down on yourself. [he doesn't like talking in moral hypotheticals, either, but hell if this place doesn't change a person.]

Still. I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't do it.

( nene looks at him...

but doesn't say anything.

eventually, the twisting fog fades into a gentle mist, and the musk of the forest fades to flowers. ...

the air clears, and livio will find they've entered a wide, vast flower field. most of them are white anemonies, but others are also there. in the near distance is a sakura tree, and laying at its roots is wolfwood.

it looks like he's asleep. )

[can he livio blamed for being more than a little shocked to see nick there, in front of them, after he buried him? even knowing they were coming here specifically to collect him?

his hand loosens in nene's as he's nearly overcome with the urge to run to the tree, but... he hesitates, looking down at her. don't let go of her hand, he's heard. does that still apply in this meadow?]

... It's okay, this is safe. But please, remember that we can't stay for too long.

[livio is too caught up in his emotions to properly appreciate the area; he doesn't want to stay a moment longer than is necessary to help nick regardless of nene's warning.

with the go ahead, he rushes up to wolfwood, kneeling beside him in a motion that is... all too fresh and familiar. he's almost scared to check to see if wolfwood's chest rises and falls yet.]

Nick...?

[A dark, starless sky. The warmth of the most important people in his life, desperately trying to keep his body from going cold. The sound of their voices when his vision failed him.

It's the last thing Wolfwood remembers before there was nothing. No more pain, no more regret. Nothing to stress over, yet nothing to work towards. And as his body had been buried in the Grove, his soul took its time recovering here in the Garden. Reclaiming what had been lost, while oblivious to how much more he had yet to lose.

Time is strange in the Grove, but especially here. Livio's voice softly calls out through the darkness, telling him to wake up.

Livio will see Wolfwood's chest moving as he slowly, slowly draws breath, as if coming out of a long hibernation more than a proper sleep. His eyes are heavy, and it takes real effort to force their lids open as he looks up from where his chin lolls against his sternum, fully expecting to see the dark sky again. It feels like he just died, after all.

But here, it isn't like that. There are flowers everywhere, and crouched just in front of him is a familiar face that slowly blurs into focus. His mouth works soundless, like he can't quite remember how to speak, before finally he croaks:]

...Liv?

[it takes everything in livio's power not to burst into tears as he had the last time he was hovering over nicholas. as it stands, nene's words are fresh in his mind. another something terrible either has happened, or will happen. he has to stay strong, right now. he'll have time to break down when wolfwood is safe and comfortable. when he's home.]

Hey... I'm here, Nico. How're you feeling...?

...like I got hit by a fuckin' car.

[He mutters, having not yet mustered the energy or give-a-damn to sit up properly. He's still lounging against that tree because it feels better than moving right now, especially since he's not yet sure what will happen if he tries.

He knows Livio, though. He can tell by the look on his face and the flowers all around them that they are not currently still in the Grove. It's why he's quick to close his mouth again, brows furrowing.

Wolfwood does try to keep his eyes open though, not wanting Livio to go away for even a second.]

What's...what happened? Where are we?

[so long as nick is too weak to sit up, liv will settle for reaching for his hand to hold. he does his best to keep a straight face, but... yeah, that isn't happening. he sure looks ready to start bawling all over again, even though he somehow manages to avoid doing so.]

We're in the garden. [he's pretty sure, anyway. he's heard as much.] You... You died.

...hah. Damn.

[Wolfwood huffs a humorless laugh, yet when he feels Livio reach out to take his hand...he'll squeeze it right back, immediately.]

Guess I owe you an apology. ...well. 'Nother one.

[at that, liv's brows furrow almost angrily.]

You don't owe me shit, Nicholas. [despite his face and his words, he lays his other hand atop wolfwood's as well, holding it as gently as possible in both of his. his voice softens, as welll.] Christ... I'm just glad you're here now.

[Well. He knows better than to press that particular issue right now. He has no way of knowing the scope of just how long he's been gone for without discussing it further, and he's not sure that's something Livio wants right now. Hell, he's not sure that's something he could handle. Just the idea of being dead (as in DEAD dead, not dying but revived at the last second) is still struggling to fully sink in.

For what it's worth, he isn't just going to keep laying there.

He'll use his grip on Livio's hand to pull himself up and forward a little, grunting deeply under his breath. He can still feel the distant, aching soreness of the old wounds that the serum healed over, yet for a mercy they're no longer there. Even if the serum killed him in the end, it at least did its job.]

Yeah. ...yeah, me too.

[His other hand comes up, shucking through his hair as he glances around the Garden for the first time, only just now noticing Nene nearby.]

...the others. Are they-?

[The Grove was attacked. It was attacked, and it was his fault.]

[of course livio allows himself to be used as leverage. he even moves one hand to wolfwood's back in an effort to try holding him up better.

... shit, he should have led with this.]

They're fine. It... was just you. Even Elsword's recovering.

[now his brows turn up. surely nick is concerned about vash. and... livio doesn't know where the hell to start. doesn't want to worry him. not when they haven't even left the garden.]

...thank God.

[And he means that, genuinely. Like, he doesn't have time to unpack how he's feeling about everything that happened right now, but. Boy, does he have feelings about it.

His hand tightens its grip on Livio's hand, just as his other reaches out to carefully rest along his shoulder.]

Help me up. We need to get outta here.

[He needs to get back. To figure out...what to do next. But, more than anything?

He wants to see Vash. His dog.

He wants to be in his own "home".]

[and here livio is, still painfully aware that there's a cost for leaving. still unsure whether or not it's already been taken.

nonetheless, he holds nick steady as they stand.]

Take it easy, okay? Nene said we can't stay long, but that doesn't mean you gotta push yourself...

I got it. I'll be fine.

[Ha...haha...

He manages to stand, at least. He's still feeling sore, and his body hardly feels fully like his own, but the longer he's awake, the more aware of being alive he is. His heart beats in his chest, he's able to draw breath. It feels all too lucky, but it wouldn't be the first time he's cheated the reaper.

Wolfwood exhales slowly, still leaning against Livio a bit as he looks out past the flower-laden Garden again.

He knows about the Garden. He knows about people returning from it, like Gnosis said would sometimes happen. But the notion of losing something...that he hasn't recalled.]

She brought you here. [He muses, glancing over at the little girl once again.] ...thanks, kid.

Of course. Mom says your will to live helped you heal way faster than normal... Most people take months.

( "months".

though maybe that just says a lot about the previous people who died. maybe she shouldn't out them like that. or maybe wolfwood's just especially voracious for life despite everything.

...

she wouldn't know. )

Once we leave the mist and re-enter the forest, it will take something from you. Felicity and Add lost an arm and an eye respectively, but it may also take a memory or a skill. You may not even notice it. But, me and Livio are here to help you get back home regardless.

[His will to live, huh? That's almost funny. But...

...ah. That's the catch, isn't it? You don't just get to live again for nothing. You have to lose something. The Forest has to take once more.

For a long moment, Wolfwood says nothing, leaning against Livio with his hand in one pocket. It's hard to tell what he might be thinking, though with the way his jaw subtly moves, it's obvious he wishes he had a cigarette.]

Whatever it is...I'll handle it.

[Even if he doesn't remember, should that be the price. It's said in a tone, like "I brought this on myself, so I'll take my licks".]

M'ready whenever you are.

[it's... sure not fun, hearing about this again, but still, liv holds steady for wolfwood's sake.]

I'm here for you, Nico. [it isn't merely an echo of what nene said, but also holds a silent correction: we'll handle it. it may be nick's pain and loss on the line, but he's nick's partner, and nothing if not empathetic. it's their burden.]

Once we're out, one of you has to hold my hand.

( she'll lead the way out though, back through the gentle mist. the air is cold and clear, and the entire forest is silent.

... )

[...

Wolfwood will take Nene's much smaller hand in his own as they begin to walk out of the Garden, all three of them. Livio is welcome to hold her other if he'd like, but he feels like he needs to do this, even so.

He has no idea what to expect. He's been warned, and- if he's lucky- the Forest will simply take what it wants and leave him wondering what that might have been, exactly. He would hate it no less, of course, but. You can't miss what you don't remember losing.

It feels too still. Too calm. The anxious wait for the other pin to drop is agonizing, yet it's one that Wolfwood keeps silent to himself as they trudge slowly forward. He walks with intent, one foot in front of the other, thinking more about what he'll meet with back at the Grove than anything else. Surely, he will not be welcome. He wouldn't be surprised if the others didn't want to see him again, alive or not.

The thought lingers at the forefront of his mind as the trio take their first steps out of the mist and into the forest proper. The silence, at this point, has become suffocating, like walls are trying to close in on him. Around his body, his chest, his head. A massive weight seems to settle, the trees crowding uncomfortably close to them the further they step. Wolfwood is tempted to try to turn a different way as the forest grows even thicker, but all that does is drive him headfirst into the thickest undergrowth yet.

He hesitates, just for one moment. His glasses are missing. He can't see whatever safe paths may be out here, relying entirely on Nene's guidance to ensure they don't walk face-first into the fog wall.

That is the least of his concerns.]

[The trees come alive at once.

Branches twist and crackle, gnarled restraints like fetters around Wolfwood's chest as they snake around him with more force and speed than he's capable of fighting back against. He feels his body wrenched forward uselessly like a ragdoll, torn away from Livio yet no matter how hard it tries to pull him from Nene's grip, her hand manages to keep hold. A mercy, given that the Forest has him, and seems unwilling to let go.

Wolfwood lets out a wordless snarl of rage, kicking out with his right leg at what ends up being the air as the trees bow forward, branches like cages hemming him in. His hand flies to his side instinctively, to his gun that would have been there, but now isn't. But what is a bullet to a tree, bark unyielding no matter how much he thrashes and tries to break free?

He continues to struggle, yet even that, too, is fruitless. It isn't long before the grip of the trees manages to bind him so tightly that he can't move at all, heavy like the force Legato would place upon him like a cat toying with a mouse. It's a reminder of just how powerless he is, that no matter how hard he fights, he will never be free.

Eyes darting wildly, he feels the branches continue to coil around his limbs, both arms and legs, each side squeezing independently. Deliberating. Choosing.

Then, the branches begin to pull. And they pull. And they pull, like a child pulling the wings off a butterfly.

Wolfwood doesn't even realize the howling voice in the woods is his own as his right leg, from just above the knee, is torn from his body with a sickening crunch of bone, the flesh coming clean with it almost too easily. The branches curl around the limb now divorced from Wolfwood's body, pulling it quickly back into the darkness. They drop Wolfwood's convulsing body back to the ground just as remorselessly, leaving him there to bleed, unable to stand, unable to feel-

He can't breathe. He can't catch his breath. It hurts.]

[one moment, everything is eerie but still, and the next -- nick is ripped away from him. and whether it's the forest keeping wolfwood out of reach, nene holding liv back, or his own horror keeping him rooted in place, livio can't get back to nicholas. just as nene said, he has to watch, helpless in the face of what's happening. his own desperate cries mingle with wolfwood's, as well as the creak of trees and snap of bone and tear of flesh.

then just as quickly, it's over. at least, the forest's attack is over. nick's suffering is only beginning.

whether or not he should still be holding onto nene, he throws himself next to wolfwood instead. he may not have medical training, exactly, but he's seen more injuries than most people ever will, and he knows how many major blood vessels are now pumping into empty air. the first thing he does is rip his belt off and get a handle on nick's thigh despite the slick of blood. he chokes out a likely unheard --] Sorry. I'm so sorry -- [as he works to tighten and tighten the leather strap above the amputation and slow the blood flow.]

[It is, genuinely, as if he's dying all over again, except far worse. He's experienced horrific injury in the past. He's suffered shots to the heart that would have otherwise killed him, if not for the serum.

But he has never, ever, been mangled to this degree. Because unlike Livio, Wolfwood cannot regenerate full-on body parts, at least not quickly enough to survive losing them. Certainly not when he has no serum to fall back on, having drank the last of it when it killed him originally.

He can't help but think. Ah. Shit. Guess I'm really gonna die, this time, because what happens if you die before you even get out of the Forest proper? It's better than trying to process the pain he's feeling, and honestly he's not sure he even can right now. He's immediately gone into shock, his brain cutting off every bit of stimuli so as to save him from the agony that would cause him to surely pass out from its severity. It can't do that for long, of course, but god damn is it not trying desperately to save his stupid ass.

If nothing else, he is grateful for Livio. Livio, who has jumped in immediately to help him even as he bleeds out all over the grass. The belt being tied around his leg acting as a tourniquet will buy him precious time, but will it be enough time to actually get out of here? There's no telling how far they are from the Grove, and even if Livio were to carry him, could he make it back quickly enough even with Nene's guidance?

Wolfwood beats back the panic trying to settle in his chest, because there's simply no time for it. He just looks up at Livio listlessly, eyes wide and glassy as sweat rolls down his temple, brows furrowing before he finally screws his eyes shut and manages a single word.]

M.....o- .....der-

[It's a good thing that calling the Guardians' names tends to summon them places. In this case, Moder — all the way back in the Grove, grazing as she tends to do — hears Wolfwood's strained cry.

It won't take her longer than a minute to arrive. Her hooves shake the earth as she speeds out of the Grove and into the fog, and Wolfwood and Livio will feel it, the way the earth shakes under her hooves, and she skids to a stop a short distance from the both of them.

There's a sound, a distinctly depressed bellow, deep in her throat as she hoists Livio and Nene onto her back first. A firm grip on the branches restraining Wolfwood is all it takes to snap them; the Forest doesn't fight her, for it has taken what it needs to. Wolfwood gets gently held in her handibles so that he doesn't tumble off, not that she doesn't trust Livio to keep him, but rather thinks it's faster if they do it this way.]

Welcome back, Little Wolf. Hold onto the threads of life but a moment longer.

[It won't take them long to get back to the Grove now. In the time it takes Moder to sprint through the True Paths with Wolfwood in-hand, he'll likely be fine. She's headed directly for the clinic, naturally.

Hold on tight.]

[god, livio owes moder so much. so much. of course he was ready to carry nick all the way back himself, but he doesn't have four legs a story high each. he's going to have to do something to thank her and nene both.

and hell, if he lets himself shed a few panicked tears along the way, well, that's between him and nene.

when they begin to so much as approach the clinic, he takes the liberty of jumping from her back himself. he tumbles and rights himself as she comes to a stop, so he's ready to accept nick from her arms into his and carry him into the clinic proper.]

[Wolfwood will have to find a way to thank her, too. He's not sure anything he could ever do would be enough. For Moder or for Nene.

By the time he's been lifted up into her arms, he barely knows what's going on anymore. He feels the motion of being lifted extremely high up off the ground, and then the wind beating against his face as she runs back to the Grove. He's left with the distinct feeling that no matter what happens from here, he will probably be okay. It's very likely, anyway...

He's not sure he'll deserve surviving this, but. He will.

By the time Moder does make it to the Grove, the trio will find Wolfwood unconscious in her arms, having finally lost the fight against the blood loss and pain trying to creep into his senses. Perhaps it's better he's not aware, for perhaps his pain can be dulled before he wakes up again to feel it.

Unconscious, but alive.]

[turns out, livio has plenty of time to get the crying out of his system as wolfwood gets patched up. he spends the majority of it pacing around outside, given that his haphazard footsteps might shake the floor of the clinic otherwise.

as soon as he's made aware that nick is stable and not being actively worked on, whether he's awake or not at this point, liv is making the executive decision to let himself in regardless of anyone's approval or lack thereof. he's decidedly more restrained in his movements now, though, light on his feet and forcing himself to breathe easier. he simply pulls up a chair beside nicholas' bed and waits, letting him rest and come around to either consciousness or the desire to talk on his own.]

[Once more, he returns to that blissful silence. The nothingness of unconsciousness. He's thankful he doesn't dream, because this might be the last time in a while that he doesn't. He has too many awful things his subconscious is going to helpfully conjure up for him in the near future. Whether he lives or dies at this point is firmly in the hands of those working at the clinic, and- fortunately- they're skilled enough to not let that happen. Stabilizing him is a matter of replenishing the blood lost and getting the wound cauterized and stitched up, which is thankfully a lot easier than trying to fix him when he's dying from serum overdose.

Outside in the Grove, the grave Livio dug for Wolfwood's body has collapsed. It's now a strangely formed half-pit of loose earth, the body within absent from its former resting place.

He's still asleep...seemingly, when Livio comes into the room. He's likely still in his bloodied clothing unless the clinic usually provides something like a hospital gown for its occupants. Not that it matters to Wolfwood, when he's rarely been afforded medical care when things like this happen. Now, here he is, his body battered and broken with his head turned away towards the far wall. Since he's uninjured everywhere else save for the bruises left behind by the branches, it would be impossible to tell what was wrong if not for the empty space under the sheets on his right side.

Eventually, though...he takes a deeper breath than usual. A heavy exhalation of breath. Then, his head slowly turns the other way, half-closed eyes settling on Livio.]

Livio...

[livio's eyes are still red from crying by the time wolfwood looks at him. he sniffles and rubs at his eyes before reaching a hand out, laying it face up on the bed. waiting for nicholas to choose whether or not he wants to be touched anymore at the moment. his voice is quiet and shaky, reminiscent of wolfwood's final moments just a few weeks ago.]

Nick, I'm so... so sorry. I couldn't... do anything.

[Wolfwood is too tired to sit up. Too tired to throw himself from this bed and hobble out of the clinic like he so wishes he could, stubbornness boiling hot in his veins.

He isn't too tired to pull his hand away from where it rests limp on his torso to lay it carefully in Livio's.]

Woulda'...woulda' happened whether you were there or not.

[He manages in a low voice, turning his hand over so they rest palm-to-palm, his fingers tangling loose with Livio's much larger ones.]

Y'still came for me.

'course I did. Do anything for you, Nico.

[and yet, not enough. he's never done enough, he thinks as he squeezes wolfwood's fingers delicately between his own.]

D'you need anything? Are you in pain...?

[it's a stupid fucking question. he knows even before he asks it. doesn't even know why he bothers. he feels like he's lost more of his mind since wolfwood died at his feet.]

[He actually laughs. It's more of a huff than a real laugh, humorless, but it sort of blurts its way out of him anyway as he closes his eyes for a moment, waiting for the room to stop swaying before he answers.]

Well. Ain't feelin' great. But I'll live.

[Perhaps in poor taste, considering. He's just not sure he cares anymore.

He's trying not to think about it. He cannot dwell on it, otherwise he's going to find himself in a place he can't crawl out of, and he's got weeks worth of catching up to do before that can happen.]

...how long's it been.

[poor taste or not, wolfwood saying so is actually a comfort to livio. he wishes the circumstances weren't this, but he's unbelievably grateful to be sitting here holding nick's hand at all.]

I'm... not sure. Weeks, at least. Maybe... a month? I -- I can't... really tell time, especially here. It feels like forever.

[he swallows, a thick lump in his throat. if he isn't already, surely wolfwood will start to wonder why vash isn't here. start to hurt and question whether vash cares. it's the last bit of news livio wants to deliver, but... he has to, doesn't he?]

Nick... Vash, he... I haven't seen him since. He took off into the forest with your glasses...

[Honestly? He was expecting to hear a lot worse. That it had been years, not weeks. Not to say a month is any better, but...it could be worse. He could have simply died and then never returned.

Of course...he's only just barely processing that before Livio drops another bombshell in his lap, much larger than the previous. Because yes, he has been wondering where Vash is. Vash, who no doubt would have been at Livio's side if he were here.

And where is he? Where the fuck is he-?

Wolfwood suddenly sits up so fast that he jostles the bedframe, and immediately the room spins dizzyingly. He can't even fully focus on Livio's face because of the room trying to whirl its way right out from under him, but he doesn't care.]

Took off? You're fucking kidding. You're KIDDING.

[His tone says that he knows Livio is not kidding.]

[wolfwood shooting up so quickly startles livio a decent amount -- he moves closer, partly to steady nick and partly to hold him back if need be. in his condition, wolfwood might not be able to get far, but livio knows exactly how stubborn he is, and he doesn't put it past him to try.]

I'm not. It's -- he had to have a good reason. [he feels like he's still trying to convince himself of that.] I'm sure he'd be here otherwise. Y'can't just... go runnin' after him right now...

[It's good that Livio is here to stop him, because it's very likely he might have tried to...do something. Maybe. But even Wolfwood can't just will his body to work for him, and once it starts becoming clear just how crippled he is now? Well. It's not going to be fun, nor easy.

He should lay back down. His shoulders shake a bit from the effort of forcing himself to sit up like this, yet he's too incensed to go anywhere. He lets Livio keep him steady- definitely holding him in place too, by some measure- as he grits his teeth so hard it makes his jaw ache.

It's not like he didn't suspect he might pull something like this. He was just...you know. Dead. Not like he could ponder it much when he was on his death bed.]

...m'gonna kill him. If he comes back, I'm gonna fucking kill him.

[The last words barely make it out, his voice strained and breaking.]

No, you won't. [his voice is soft, like he might be trying to soothe a child rather than argue with another adult. maybe it's a bad move, but he believes it. he knows wolfwood is furious, understandably so, but he also knows that nicholas loves vash and will be relieved to have him back.

christ, livio hopes vash comes back. he doesn't think he can handle watching nick go through what he's just endured.]

Will you lie back down, please? I don't want you to hurt yourself...

[He doesn't want to lay back down. He wants to get up. He wants to run outside and punch something. He wants to scream. He wants to cry. He's been brought back from the dead, and everything is worse now. It shows in his expression, defiant and angry and raw as he looks back at Livio with his eyes glittering with barely repressed rage, unable to hide behind his shades because Vash took those with him when he left.

But as he searches Livio's expression for any signs of backing down despite knowing this isn't going to be happening, his own mask starts to fracture. A low shudder wracks his body and rattles his bones, brows upturning as he feels his heart plummet into the pit of his stomach. He looks...hurt, for lack of a better word. There's no way he can express it like he usually might, because he may not be leaving this bed for quite some time.

So...he sinks back down. He lays flat on the bed and turns his head away, mostly so Livio won't see the upset tears welling up in his eyes because he told him, practically begged Vash to stay and be here. With Livio most of all, but he meant the others, too. To not turn tail and run, not this time. No matter how much he knows it must have hurt to lose him.

It hurts. He's hurting, and it's not just physical anymore.

He doesn't let Livio's hand go, at least.]

...he left you. Alone.

[That is maybe the more egregious sin of all, in his mind.]

[it's hard not to bend, honestly, when wolfwood is so very obviously upset. he doesn't show vulnerability often, even to livio.

but as he's said before, liv will be damned if he's the reason nick and vash have trouble.]

Please don't be angry with him on my behalf. [i'm already angry enough, he wants to say, but of course he doesn't. it would probably only make nick madder to know it actually got to livio.] I survived, didn't I?

[forget that he's spent his whole life "surviving," and the motions he's ghosted through the past weeks could hardly be considered living.

... with one exception, maybe.]

Angel's okay. I've been looking after her. She's a good girl.

[Livio tells him to not be angry, and he gets it. He can tell just how much he's trying to cover for Vash, to smooth things over...it's not going to work, but he understands what he's trying to do.

To be frank though, assuming Vash doesn't just reappear tomorrow, Wolfwood will have time to ruminate and calm down. Whether or not that will be a good or bad thing is still anyone's guess, of course. The shock of coming back and losing a limb hasn't had time to fully settle in just yet, after all.

He wants to tell Livio that isn't enough, but what he says next is actually surprising enough that Wolfwood glances back over at Livio without turning his head, looking up at him through ratty bangs.]

...you have?

[You didn't have to, he thinks. Someone else would have. Mizuki, or Zahliya, or Els-

...

He may not understand Livio's history with dogs in particular, he doesn't know because how could he? But that doesn't mean he hasn't been aware that he's avoided Angelina up until now. It's not something he pressed him on, because it was never important enough to be an issue. If that was his preference, Wolfwood wasn't going to bother him about it.

So, to hear that he'd been caring for the pup in his absence...]

[livio is glad they both seem to be able to move past the vash thing for now. getting worked up about it wouldn't do any good, anyway.]

'course I did. That's your baby, right? [there's an unspoken heaviness to his words. of course i did; she was all i had left of you.

... livio promised her earlier that he would be back. he hadn't mentioned wolfwood, because god forbid the worst happened, he didn't want to lie to her. but it's likely nick won't be able to go home just yet in this state.]

I'll bring her over if you wanna see her before you're released.

[While Wolfwood would love to get this awful, heavy feeling in his chest to go away in regards to Vash, he knows that unloading on Livio about it isn't going to do either of them any good. Judging by how haggard Livio seems, and the bags under his eyes, he knows. He's been here on his own for weeks, almost a month now he said. He doesn't need to hear about it.

That...he'll have to unpack all of that later. Somehow. Maybe they can talk about it, maybe they won't. Right now, he's just thankful he has Livio. Livio, who- by all accounts- he would understand if he wanted nothing to do with him right now. He warned Nick himself about the book burning, after all. Even if he wasn't alone in that...]

I...

[His brows furrow, and again he glances across the room. Angelina...he can't imagine she really understood what was going on. Leaving her hadn't actually occurred to him until now.]

Yeah...yeah, sure. You might as well.

[For as much as he complains about having to clean up after her, and take her out, and everything else, Livio is right. She is his baby, now.]

...thank you. Seriously.

[unfortunately for wolfwood, he's stuck with livio. as he'd said at the time -- in the wrong or not, regardless of difficulty or tribulation, liv will stick by nicholas. especially now, when nick doesn't have anyone else he lets himself be vulnerable around.]

You're welcome. Always.

[granted, even to angelina's detriment of waiting just a bit longer, he's hesitant to leave just yet unless nick asks it of him. livio doesn't move, just runs his thumb over nick's hand still in his.]

... I'm really glad you're here, Nico.

[That will probably get Livio in trouble one of these days, if it hasn't already, considering the lives they've both led. At this point, though? Wolfwood knows they're both sticking by each other for the long haul.

When he feels Livio rub his hand with his thumb, Wolfwood visibly relaxes. He does finally turn his head so he's looking up at the ceiling, yet it's obvious he's miserable, both in body and mind. The dampness clinging to his lashes can attest to that.]

You know me. Takes more than just a few licks to put me in the ground.

[He huffs as he says that, giving Livio's hand a little squeeze.]

Just. ...might not be quite the same guy you remembered. I'm...half my former self.

[It's a terrible attempt at a joke, or lightening the mood, maybe. It's something Vash would say.

It falls flat on its face pretty much in the silence that follows.]

[it did take more than that. it took a god. and livio put nicholas in the ground himself.

but liv doesn't comment on that. it's for the best.]

I don't think that's true. You just... have somethin' new to get used to. And I'm here to help, however you need.

Somethin' new. Right.

[It's not like he's having to learn how to ride a bike here. And, as far as he knows, this is it. He's just like this, now.

And with how independent Wolfwood is, it's going to be a lot harder than he's even anticipating it might.]

Guess it coulda' been worse. The Forest might've taken something harder to replace.

[Like a memory. Like a memory of something vital, something Wolfwood would be loathe to lose.

He has plenty to choose from.]

[ If one had to ask who the saddest mfer around right now was, other than Elsword, Beat would say Livio. Which is why the werewolf hunts him down, sunflower seeds and ribbons in hand, nose in the air until he finds the big guy. He won't approach immediately though, peeking around corners until Livio spots him lurking, then perks his ears up and wags his tail. ]

Hey brotha, you wanna help me wid somethin'?

Edited (lurking not lurky wth does that mean) 2024-03-24 20:46 (UTC)

[it helps that livio has been spending so much time around angelina. he doesn't seem nearly so bothered by beat's appearance as he did when they first met face to face. granted, given the circumstances he isn't happy, but... it's something.

plus, it's always been far easier for him to get motivated to do things for other people than for himself.]

... Sure. What do you need?

[ That gets a large grin out of him, muzzle open, tongue lolling. ]

I needchu to plant a sunflower wid me. Then we gotta tie a ribbon to it. It'll sprout fast, ain't no worries 'bout that. You down?

[ He shows off his large paws with the seed packet and ribbon. ]

[sounds pretty specific. one of those odd requests from the shopkeeper or trader? livio doesn't really understand his own part in this, but...]

Okay. Where...?

[ Good question that makes Beat pause. He stares at the ground, brow furrowed, before shrugging. ]

I don't think it matter, yo. You got a spot in mind that might do good wid a sunflower? They're all about like... happiness an' stuff. I think. You know they turn to the sun? An' if they can't see the sun, they turn to each other? So like... where you think would do good wid some shit like that?

[livio takes a moment to look around, considering. he'd just assumed beat already had a plan. but ultimately, the options seem... limited.]

... Probably around the well? Less tree cover, more chance of sun hitting it.

... Yo! Good idea!

[ He'll wait for Livio before taking off towards the well, tail wagging vigorously. ]

Thanks, brotha. I really 'preciatechya helpin' out. It means a lot.

[he'll come along, not anywhere near as upbeat, but he was asked to participate, so... here he is.]

It does? [they hardly know each other, and when they last met, they were all but fighting.] Why me...?

[ Why him... Beat pauses to scratch the back of his neck, then sigh. ]

'Cuz I know how you feelin', yo. An' I know if you wallow, widdout lil' moments to break it, it spirals yer ass down the toilet.

[ He turns to the big guy and offers him the sunflower seed packet, expression serious. ]

An' sometimes symmolism can help. [ Symbolism... ]

[it's fine, livio gets the gist. he isn't the type to mock.

he does stare down at the packet blankly once he receives it, quiet for a long moment. eventually, his eyes shift up to beat's face -- still not quite used to someone being taller than him, all told, but that's actually comforting, in a way, right now.]

... You asked me for help, but it feels like you're the one helping me. [that isn't chiding, either. in fact, there's a slight waver to his voice that betrays how touched he is.]

[ That makes him huff, hard. ]

We all need a lil' help sometimes, brotha.... Yo, like the sunflowers! If they can't see the sun, they turn to one 'nother! If you ain't able to see the sun through yer shit, turn to yer friends! I get it!!

[ He did not make the connection until now, his tail wagging so hard. Oh fuck he's a GENIUS. ]

I know you dunno me, but strangers is jus' friends that ain't spend 'nuff time wid each other. So le's plant a sunflower or two, an' be friends.

[man. he really has been spending too much time around angelina (no such thing actually), because the tail wag makes him a little happier, too.]

I think you're right, Beat.

[once they decide on a good spot, on the side of the well that gets the morning sun, livio kneels in the grass to dig up just a little dirt with his hands. it's oddly soothing, too, to feel grass at his fingertips and soil under his nails. pleasant senses he can hold onto to claw his way out of the proverbial toilet.

and, of course, he opens the packet and gestures to beat, waiting for him to open his hands so liv can pour in a few seeds.]

[ Beat will let Livio dig, even though his paws itch to do so as well. He knows it's therapeutic. Sometimes you just need to dig a really good hole.

And Livio gets to experience dog brain in action because Beat interprets the gesture as "shake" and before he can stop himself, he smacks his giant ass paw into Livio's hand with all the glee a dog can muster.

This sends seeds scattering. A tornado of seeds that have suddenly learned how to fly.

Beat's expression is one of shock and startlement, as his brain tries to process what just happened. Then he sighs heavily... ]

Man... if you ever get a chance to turn into a dog, say no.

[ He will slowly begin to pick seeds up with his claws. ]

[bruh... sometimes you do just need to dig a really good hole.

livio's own brain shuts off for a moment as he gets dog-handshaked and the seeds go everywhere.

then he feels bad. but not in the spiraling way, at least. it's... kind of funny, even if he doesn't laugh. the only smile he gives is a mostly guilty one as he moves to start picking them up, as well.]

Ah... sorry. I didn't think about how that might look...

[ Livio may not laugh but Beat does, shaking his head. ]

Nah, ain't yer fault. Dog brain the worst. You say walk innocently and I'm-

[ Tail wags harder. Oh man he wants to go for walks. He drops a few seeds into the hole Livio dug, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. ]

Wanna go fer some walks after this???

[yeah, he can see that. it's a slippery slope, even when beat is the one talking! poor guy...]

Yeah, we can. [it's surprisingly easy to agree to. beat is difficult to be too upset around, it seems.

just for good measure, because he was asked specifically to help, livio sets a couple of seeds in the dirt as well, a bit spread out just in case, and gets to sprinkling dirt lightly over them all. he's learning that each plant has its own preferences on how much dirt goes over the seeds, whether it's just dusted over or compacted, so... he figures a middle ground is good, probably?

... oh.]

Are we s'posed to water them?

Oh hell yeah! Walks are so great, yo, you get to sniff so many things!

[ Beat watches Livio drop a few seeds in as well and cover the hole. Huh. It looks like he's done this before. He tilts his head in the curious 45 degree angle, closing his mouth on his tongue so it's blepping out a bit. ]

Nah, we jus' gotta wait, Yiddler magicked them so they sprout after a bit. Hey, you a gardener? It looks like you've done this before.

[ While they wait, he hands Livio one of the gold-colored ribbons. His paw hands aren't great for tying bows... ]

I guess my sniffer ain't as good as yours, but I do like getting to see all the green things.

[he stares at beat blankly for a moment... yiddler??]

Oh. Well... not exactly. I just planted some seeds for the River Guardian and the Behemoth, that's all...

[he accepts the ribbon, holding it delicately as they wait for the flowers to sprout.]

[ You know, the batman villain running the Trader shop! Beat grins happily at the idea of seeing things. ]

Fair. I'll leadchu to some stuff you might miss otherwise. There's a whole buncha things around.

[ The not really makes him huh. ]

You should do it more, you look like you got a blue thumb. [ NO.

Thankfully the sunflowers are magicked and it doesn't take long at all for green little shoots to begin peeking through the dirt. Slowly but surely they stretch and grow, green buds forming as they reach for the sky. Beat's tail wags ridiculously. ]

Sounds good.

[he tilts his head.] What's a blue thumb? [guess who's from a desert planet, has never heard the term "green thumb" in his life, and is going to take whatever beat says next as gospel?

the same guy who watches in awe as the flowers sprout before their very eyes. being from said desert planet really gives him an appreciation for any sort of greenery, so the magicked sort is extra special.]

Tha's when you really good wid plants, yo. Make 'em grow good an' stuff.

[ The sagest of incorrect nods.

And he can't help but grin to the expression on the other guys face as the sunflowers grow.

And grow.

... And grow.

Turns out, Sunflowers are really tall, Beat blinking as the things curl their way upwards still, slowly but surely. ]

Uh... she didn't say nothin' 'bout them bein' huge...

Oh. [huh. that's something he certainly never could've been on nomansland. it... doesn't sound half bad, here, honestly. taking care of something alive has been awfully therapeutic with angelina.

his eyes widen and he leans back the taller the stalks get, just as shocked as beat.]

I've only seen them in pictures... uh... Should we be worried?

N...naw.... But, ya know, jus' in case...?

[ He will stand and back up a bit. Just in case. Thankfully for them both the sunflowers stops at around five feet but that's still large for a plant, the flowers blossoming brightly and ... largely. Beat huhs softly, scratching the side of his muzzle. ]

.... Cool! Why they get so big?!

[ When next Livio visits the School, he will find a little round blob of a crocheted sheep waiting for him. It's a little lumpy, and a little uneven, but it's made with heart. And a note from Pure Vanilla, saying he hopes it acts like a good luck charm or just a friend when he needs one.

It smells faintly of vanilla and if Livio looks at it under the moonlight, the wool yarn takes on a rainbow iridescent shimmer. ]

[Early one morning, Livio and Wolfwood will wake to the sound of shuffling in the kitchen, some joyous whistling, and the smell of freshly cooked eggs. Venturing out of the pile of limbs, blankets, and dog will reveal that Vash has three perfectly folded omelettes laid out. There's even some fresh cut fruit on the table. Just don't ask where it came from, yeah?

The magnificent chef in question, one Vash the Stampede, is currently standing near the table. As his partners emerge, he lifts a hand up, fingers wiggling in a little wave. He seems... nervous? Weird.]

Mornin' you two. Come eat!

Edited 2024-06-18 03:07 (UTC)

[livio has never and will never take food for granted, so jot that down. his sniffer leads him right to the kitchenette, as he waves right back at vash. his own partners might possibly find it disgusting how much of a morning person he is, perking right up at the breakfast vash has whipped up.]

Well, I'll be damned, sunflower, I didn't know y'could cook all fancy. Looks great. Thanks.

[incoming for a g'mornin' kiss --]

Y'alright?

[Wolfwood lags behind Livio a bit, both because he's not a morning person and because he's still settling into the routine of putting his leg on every morning. It has to come off at night because it's too uncomfortable (at least for right now) to sleep with it otherwise, but he at least has gotten the hang of it enough that he's out in a few minutes as opposed to an hour or two. To the smell of breakfast, no less.

He whistles lowly as he walks in after Livio, raising a brow at the way Vash is hovering. Because he can tell, immediately, that he's hovering in that way he does when he's feeling antsy about something, like his feet want to run but his mind is forcing him to stay put.

Livio's already pointed that out for him, though, so there's no need to double down.]

Hang on, lemme sit down, then we can talk. Cause I know you two are gonna talk.

[And talk and talk- not that he minds, of course. He loves it, actually.]

[It doesn't surprise Vash that both men seem to see through him. His shoulders hike instinctively, mouth opens to deflect even thoug he's literally doing this to talk about his issue — only to release when Wolfwood says to wait. He has a little time, at least.

He makes good use of that time, too. He doesn't have to push up on his toes very far to kiss Livio anymore, especially when he's already bent down to get it started. Vash returns the smooch gingerly, boops his forehead against his partner's shoulder, then turns his attention to Wolfwood.]

Like you don't hang on every word we say!

[He makes his way over to Nick and kisses the top of his head. Then he goes the extra mile and pulls out his chair for him. Is it a distraction? Absolutely. Fight him on it, though.]

[yes, wolfwood has said a hundred times that he values livio. yes, livio still is surprised to hear something like that and wonders whether or not it's true, in his own case.

as vash and nick have their moment, livio does his part, pouring all three of them some water and angelina her breakfast. baby eats first. then he finally takes his seat as well, assuming vash has sat down.]

Only when you got interestin' shit to say.

[Is how he chooses to respond as he tilts his head up to kiss Vash back before he steps out of range, moving to sink into one of the chairs that he immediately sits in like he's sprawled on a couch and not sitting in a chair like a normal person. Arm thrown across the back of it and everything.

Angelina meanwhile will eat her breakfast nosily nearby. Ambiance.]

A'ight needlenoggin, you look like you're about to give a speech. What's up with you?

Well, I definitely have something uh. Interesting to bring up!

[But first, he waits for both men to get comfortable. Sorry, Livio, he'll stare you down until you sit. Aaaand once he does... he just sort of fidgets with his own chair. One set of arms rocks it back and forth, while the other is to content to fiddle with its own fingers. His eyes dart from Livio to Wolfwood, back to Livio, over to Angelina, before dropping to the floor.]

I guess it's not really a speech. Just, um. A question. A question about... how we feel about seeing other people. Besides ourselves, I mean!

[Legally it's Livio's tag next but just note that as soon as what Vash says registers, Wolfwood chokes and sputters on the sip of water he just took.]

[... hello?? he isn't sure he understands entirely, but wolfwood's reaction makes him lean in the direction of the negative.]

Like... in addition to, or instead of...? [said with a tone they will probably both recognize by now as having the undertone of "did i do something wrong again?"]

[At first, Vash doesn't understand why Wolfwood is coughing up water all over the place. It takes Livio's question for him to actually process the weight and potential meaning of his words. Thankfully, his sudden and emphatic hand waving will probably immediately key them both on to the fact that Vash is just an idiot.]

Whoa! whoa whoa! I'm not goin' anywhere. C'mon, I like... love you guys! I just mean that I - uh

[His mouth snaps shut with an audible clack. His multitude of hands fret together for a few more seconds before...]

I just really liked kissing Pure Vanilla, is all.

[Sorry Vash but you've got to admit, you worded that terribly right out the gate. But now that Vash is correcting himself and clarifying, Wolfwood is sitting back and wiping water off his chin as he sets his glass aside.]

Jesus, maybe lead with that next time, yeah?

[He looked so nervous it was easy to assume he WANTED to be like "hey let's break up lol". Instead...

Wolfwood shifts in his seat a little, looking from Livio to Vash and back.]

I mean. Look. S'long as you two don't plan on leavin' me, you can do what makes you happy. And if that's kissin' other folks, then that's fine. I can't say I see myself doin' the same thing since I really just want you two, but...I dunno. Who knows.

[~who knows~ indeed Mr. unintentionally flirting with like five people rn including his actual bfs

...then, he adds:]

Not. That I'm sayin' you have to be stuck with me forever. I just...I ain't really plannin' on stoppin' that any time soon, y'feel me.

[oh. livio's shoulders slacken as everything becomes clear. even more so when wolfwood approves of it so easily -- it makes livio feel less weird for being okay with it, himself.]

I think anything that makes y'happy is worth pursuin', Vash. So don't let us hold y'back. Just... yeah. Kiss us, sometimes, too.

Aw, Liv... [He tiptoes over to him, leans up on his toes, and presses a very chaste kiss to his cheek.] I'm not going anywhere. Always plenty of kisses for you.

[And then he pitter-patters over to Wolfwood. He takes that scruffy face into his hands, angling his head upward so that they're staring into one another's eyes.]

And you. I know we've had our - trouble. But this is where I want to be. Honest.

[And a sweet little kiss on the nose for him!]

[GAY. Ur gay.]

Yeah yeah. I figured. Jus' always nice hearin' it from your mouth, s'all.

[The nose kiss makes him scrunch up his face, and just for that, he'll lean in to steal a kiss from Vash proper before he can actually pull away in time.]

How did this all come about, exactly?

[just. blinks sweetly at wolfwood.]

Babe, he just said he's got a crush on Mr. Pure Vanilla Cookie. [who could blame him, though. pv is as sweet as... well! a cookie!]

I mean, yeah that's... pretty much it.

[Don't mind him, hunkering down. His cheeks are bright red, while his ears are tinging a faint shade of pink. He's flustered!!]

If y'wanna get specific, I think I really realized it when we all played spin the bottle. We kissed a little and I liked it uh. More than usual!

[ooh, shy vash! so tempting! livio swoops right in to peck at his temple and his cheek. get loved, idiot.

... livio is gonna go all red, too, though, and settle back down in his chair. nothing to say about how nice it felt to smooch certain people. nope. nuh-uh.]

Hah. Well, m'glad you enjoyed yourself, Spikey. People were, uh. Sure kissin' a lot durin' that...

[And if Wolfwood's turning a bit of a darker shade too talking about this, no he isn't.]

Does he...know? Or...

[Because while Wolfwood hasn't spoken to Pure Vanilla since his accident, and not really to Cacao at all...he's Seen those two, he knows those cookies are fuckin.]

Not yet? Not really?

[Vash worries his fingers some more. His brow pinches in the slightest. Was there a chance that he could be rejected? Absolutely. Here he was getting his hopes up, when Pure Vanilla was clearly content with his own partners.]

I mean. We kissed, right? That has to mean something, even if it was just a game...?

[The longer he speaks, the more downtrodden he sounds.]

[... okay. maybe livio will acknowledge that every single one of them seems to be flustered talking about this. only because it's all of them. only because he doesn't want vash to spiral.]

Just speculatin' about it won't do any good, if y'get wrapped up in the worst case in your head. Y'should talk to him, Vash.

Liv's right. You ain't gettin' nowhere by assumin'. And judging by what know about that guy...he's not gonna know otherwise.

[He's a little flighty. Especially when it comes to intimacy. He saw the guy headbutt people who kissed him during that game, and all.]

[Excuse you, Pure Vanilla's headbutts are the BEST how dare you. They're Vash's favorite thing.]

I should... probably do that. But it's scary!!! What if he... y'know...

[The saddest of shrugs.]

[oh, vash... livio rests a hand ever so lightly on his shoulder and gives him the softest smile he can muster.]

Or what if he... y'know... adores you, like we do?

Yeah. S'that somethin' you're willin' to miss out on? Didn't stop you from tryin' with us.

[WELL. This is also disregarding how much feet-dragging it took them to get to this point, but still.]

I mean maybe he does, but ...

[Okay Wolfwood might be disregarding it but -]

But think about it! Think about how long it took me to say anything to you two? Hm?

[But they both have a good point.]

I promise I'll try. And I'll let you both know.

No pressure from us. Just... remember that we want you t'be happy, Vash. At your own pace.

Even if that pace is the speed of a glacier.

[Wolfwood-]

What's a glacier?

[Opens his mouth. Closes his mouth.]

Let's just enjoy breakfast, eh?

Edited 2024-06-30 05:19 (UTC)

[Wolfwood snorts, leaning back in his chair.]

Before it gets cold, yeah. Or before someone decides t'eat it all before we can get any.

[vash and wolfwood both silently like "don't worry about it" and livio trusts them so he :) and, yes, eats vash's hard work before it's too cold.]

[As much as Vash wants to turn tail and run after everything, he... doesn't. There's a lot that needs to be done, and he won't leave Wolfwood to shoulder the burden. Before anything else happens, he needs to find Livio.

It turns out that takes some doing. The pier is one of the last places he expected to have to look, so it takes him some time to make his way out there. Once he finds Livio he just sort of... sits down beside him. He folds his hands into his lap and... waits to be acknowledged.]

[if it wasn't for the tides, livio wouldn't even be here. he'd much rather be out on the beach, secluded and all, considering how wet his face and how red his eyes are. he does his best to wipe away the evidence as he hears someone approach -- vash, by the sound of his footsteps.

he isn't sure whether hope or dread is stronger. maybe he can pretend it's hope for a little while longer if he doesn't look directly at vash yet.]

... You're home. Thank you. [at least he can be grateful vash honored his word.]

[Right for the trouble spot, it would seem. Vash opens his mouth to explain, but nothing comes out. He tries, for a split second, to put on a brave face. Maybe it's the mutual tears in Livio's eyes. Maybe it's just his own grief rising up. But for whatever reason, he can't put a cap on his despair any longer.

He leans heavily against Livio's shoulder, face turned against his skin. He doesn't say anything, but it won't be hard to tell what's happening. The warm moisture dampening Livio's arm is evidence enough of what Vash is going through, even if he won't speak it out loud.]

[... right. of course it's the worst possible outcome.

livio wants to scream. he wants to yell at vash for running off in the first place. then to stomp his way to their cabana and yell at wolfwood for letting it happen. all while crying, of course. he wants them both to know how much their constant fucking high school lovers' spats hurt everyone around them, not just them.

but that isn't what he does, of course. no, he finds that one safe platform to fall back on. like he'd just recently told mizuki -- relationships are complicated and painful. this is exactly why he's grateful, in a bitter way, for all of the exhausting, cruel training he's undergone. because he knows how to flip that switch in his brain and simply stop feeling.

he won't leave vash, no. he still cares. he still wraps an arm around the independent and allows him to weep on livio. but this way, he doesn't have to hurt, too.]

[Vash has no idea of knowing how unfair it is. if he knew Livio had simply switched off, he might have pulled back. Hell, he might have thrown hismelf straight into the ocean for it all.

But instead, he weeps like a child against him. All the grief he was afraid of letting spill in front of Wolfwood, not out of a desire to hide it but a fear of guilting him, comes out like a tidal wave. He doesn't make a noise, but his body trembles with the force of it. So powerful is the burst that he clings to Livio's shirt, fingers balled into the fabric as if it were the only thing keeping him connected to the planet.

He doesn't know how long he cries for. Eventually he runs out of tears and simply remains there. He clings, because he knows after this there will be a line in the sand. Livio and Wolfwood went hand in hand. He wouldn't get between them. Even still, he does eventually lean back. He stares up at Livio, puffy face, water eyes, the whole mess.]

I... tried. I told him the truth. How I was feeling, all that. I told him I felt like I couldn't trust him anymore. He said he'd still do it all over again.

We aren't on the same wavelength, he said. So...

[Livio can probably put the pieces together.]

[even if it weren't for lack of feeling, livio is patient. he allows vash to sob until he simply can't anymore. and so long as vash doesn't complain, he rubs at his back or strokes his hair at times.

once vash leans back and actually looks up at him... well. he knows by now that livio also masks sometimes, especially if he needs to be calm to help someone, so his level expression shouldn't come as a surprise. maybe the best hint that something is slightly off is that his voice is reverted to that same accent-free monotone he spoke in when he first arrived.]

You two are really different.

Sometimes I think that's all either of you see. You're more alike than not. You're both protectors, above all else. And no, you're not always on the same wavelength.

... But you love him, right?

Of course I do. This isn't - even what I want. But I can't just force Nick to see it my way, right? And maybe time will help me. Get perspective.

I don't know.

[It's only after he finishes speaking that reality settles him. Guilt doesn't take long to hit him after that. He recognizes the hollow tone of his voice. Livio must be hurting too. He's stuck between them, made to feel like he has to choose. And it isn't like Vash has made it any easier on him.]

Liv - 'm sorry. We don't have to talk about this. I really... don't want to hurt anyone else.

[maybe he shouldn't say it, but so long as everyone is being honest...]

I'm already hurt. At least as long as you're willing to talk to me, I can try to help. Or at least keep you from being alone.

[maybe he can summon just enough wherewithal to soften his voice some.]

Did you tell him? That this isn't what you want?

[Vash... wants to protest that badly. His mouth opens to say as much, but something stops him short. A thought occurs to him, one that might have made him laugh, if not for his grief.]

I - didn't. This was his choice. And if I said too much, it'd be like taking it away, wouldn't it. Don't... really want to be a hypocrite.

Same with you. [If being here for Vash despite his pain was Livio's choice, then what could he do?]

I'm sorry you're hurting. That we're hurting you. I almost wish I could make it better, you know. That I could stop being hurt.

[He glances down at the surf below.]

But bottling it up and swallowing it down won't help any of us. And I know that contradicts what I just said but...

[He makes a helpless motion with his hands.]

Guess that's life, right?

You being honest about what you want doesn't take away his choice. It helps him make a more informed choice.

[not that livio wants to sit here criticizing either of them, exactly. though he isn't in a place where he wants to acknowledge vash's apology, either.]

People tend to make poor decisions when they're upset or hurt.

I'm not saying either of you are explicitly wrong, or that I speak for Nick. Just that it's... understandable, that you're having a disagreement. And I know he loves you, too.

I knew the moment I got here. Just like you know he's... passionate. To his own detriment, sometimes.

Passionate. That's a good way to describe it. [A sigh.] We've... gotten through worse. We'll be okay. It just needs time.

[But Vash... doesn't sound like he believes that. He can't imagine changing how he feels. He can acknowledge where Wolfwood was coming from, can respect it, but he can't forgive it.]

He said that I'd never be the same, now that I knew. And he's right. But... [He pulls his knees up. The more pressure he applies to his chest, the less it feels like it hurts.]

I'll also never be the same, knowing he kept it from me. And it's so frustrating, because I know why he did it! But... [His presses his forehead to his knees.]

As much as I love him. As much as I love you. Or Nai, or anyone... I'll always love humanity more. If sacrificing my own peace might mean saving so many lives, I'd do it over and over again. That's always how I've been.

And if he can't accept that...

[Vash... doesn't want to think about that outcome.]

Edited 2024-07-01 06:06 (UTC)

Have you said it to him? Exactly like that?

[this is precisely what he meant when he called them protectors. while wolfwood's desire is to protect a select few, vash desires to protect all of humanity. one of their goals is more realistic, of course, but both are noble.]

Maybe coming at it from an angle you can both understand will make it easier to reconcile.

I just... figured he knew.

[He lets out a sad little laugh.]

Guess he was right about wavelengths, huh.

[the arm around vash squeezes him a bit. gentle but firm, trying to mimic the pressure vash is using on himself.]

I don't think that's anyone's fault. No matter how much you love someone -- doesn't mean you can read their mind. I don't even know what he's thinking sometimes.

I guess not.

[He shifts just a little, so he can bury his face in the crook of Livio's neck. Cozy.]

In any case. I'll give him time. He asked for the break, right? S'only fair to listen.

Yeah. Sounds fair.

[part of livio wonders if nick had asked for that out of exasperation or that he genuinely wanted it... but, again, he can't know unless he either asks directly or nick volunteers it. though, this does leave the matter of... the living arrangements of the three of them.]

Where are you going to stay, here? And don't say something ridiculous like the cave or the beach.

I'll find somewhere. Might ask Heimr for a tent or something. Or see if anyone has a free space.

[Look at him, being mature!]

Once we're back, I'll crash at the inn. It's too much trouble to ask the both of you to uproot. 'sides, Angelina has her own room now and everything!

[oh, it is a pleasant surprise that vash is being mature about --]

What.

[livio stares hard at the top of vash's head as if vash can see him too.]

Vash. It's your house.

Not really.

[But before Livio can jump down his throat.]

It's our house. All three of us. Four, really. I'm not going to ask the rest of you to upend everything. Angelina's grown up there, and she's already going to be upset enough about one of her people right now.

[He leans back, so Livio can see his face.]

This isn't me self-punishing. I'm just trying to be practical.

[... it's almost funny, that the thing that most challenges his ability to remain numb, is... how a dog might feel about all of this. if it weren't for angelina, livio would likely find somewhere else to be, as well. it feels wrong to default to nick's side if it means vash will be alone in the meantime.]

She's adaptable. Took to this place easy enough.

[...]

I've got enough done at the school that I could set up some temporary rooms for all of us. You two could have space, but she could still see you both.

Liv, please...

[Vash has already wept his damn heart out. Yet somehow, the idea of everyone uprooting for him is what threatens to make new tears form.]

I'm asking, with all my heart. Please just stay there. I'll feel better if I know you guys are home.

[part of him wants to beg vash in turn, to consider what he and nick might want, but... fine. it isn't the first time today he's had to push his own feelings aside to soothe vash's.]

Alright.

[If he only knew how much he'd forced other people to swallow his emotions... well, he probaly would stop sharing so maybe this is the best for now. Temporarily.]

Thanks.

[He starts to draw back into his own space. His hands fall into his lap.]

I... don't really know what else to say now.

[livio's goal isn't to hurt vash, either, so it really is for the best.]

Do you want me to go?

Honestly I... don't really know what I want right now.

[His laugh is sad.]

That's not true. I want to run away. Don't... want to have to sit with everything that's happened. But that won't help anyone, right?

[it sure won't, vash.]

I would worry about you. So would Nick.

[but still...]

I'll stay here until you'd rather I go, then.

I'm not going anywhere. I promise.

[But he's not saying no to company.]

[Since Vash and Wolfwood also got gifts this month... Ain doesn't want to leave Livio out! Of course he did not ask before doing this, he has no hint to what kinds of things Livio would want, and his "that guy is cute" brain is going overtime so.

Livio will come home to find a box on the bed with a note that says simply: TO LIVIO <3 FROM AIN! Inside is an outfit: Daisy dukes and a cropped shirt in a nice, earthen green tone. There's a new poncho in there too, in case he gets cold wearing that. Somehow, it's all in Livio's exact size. Do not question where Ain got the measurements from just roll with it.

There's another note underneath that saying if Livio doesn't like the colours or the articles themselves, he can stop by the tailor shop and Ain will replace it.]

[Wolfwood barely remembers falling asleep.

Everything post Livio's death had been a sickening blur. Though, he hesitates to call it a death so much as a slaughter, given the fact more of Livio ended up on him and the ground than where Wolfwood actually buried him. For you see, Wolfwood wasn't just going to leave his corpse to rot in front of the god damn house, even if he's pretty sure it would have just disappeared on its own anyway. There's a shallow grave dug a decent distance from the house because it felt wrong to put it in the yard, in the hopes that nothing would come by and dig it up later. It's sloppy but the job is done right, and...he doesn't remember really how long he spent there, knelt there, detatched from himself to the point where he still doesn't know if a few hours or days had passed before he finally dragged himself back inside to take a shower.

Vash is gone. Again. He doesn't know where, doesn't know what, but he can't go after him right now. Not unless he, too, wants to get himself shredded like confetti. He's not so bold as to think he can fight that, insomuch as he doubts he could get more than a few clean shots off before Vash took him down, and that's if he managed to do any real damage.

It hurts. He's exhausted, confused, and he hurts. So he crawls in bed and simply...doesn't wake up.

For a solid month of time, Wolfwood dreams. To Wolfwood, it's as if the Grove had been the dream, as he snaps awake back in No Man's Land in the wake of having prevented disaster with the orphanage, his hands still vaguely burned from where the serum hadn't fully repaired the damage yet. His memories of the Grove of course no longer exist while he's there as he goes through the course of his already predetermined future. They make it to JuLai, Vash waltzes face first into the trap Wolfwood knowingly led him into, and the city gets completely vaporized off the face of the planet. But unlike Vash, Wolfwood doesn't live years worth of time before he wakes up again. He remembers getting Meryl out of harm's way, just before the nuke went off, and...

He snaps his eyes open with a start, a sharp breath rattling through his lungs as if he'd forgotten how to breathe. He sits forward abruptly as the entire room around him swims dizzyingly, the things left behind around the house (and the general fucking state it's in) things he'll have to discover later. The sense of being overwhelmed is simply unmatched as he sits there staring straight ahead, eyes flickering down to the empty space of the bed where his leg once was. The memories don't come flooding back so much as crashing over him like he's being pelted mercilessly with each one, and it's honestly too much.

Then he looks over to the form sitting in the bedroom, and if he weren't so out of it, he would have fucking screamed right then and there. Instead he stares like he isn't sure what he's looking at, for a long time.

He recognizes the difference between them, now.]

...s'you.

[after he trampled the house and found the trio's stupid fucking dog -- you're WELCOME, by the way -- razlo decided to... well, what else, but sit there seething in hate for a guy who can't even fight back at the moment. he definitely tried shaking the bastard awake a couple times, but given the notes and everything... it's been pretty clear that he isn't waking up until he's good and ready.

so raz eats, and watches, and sleeps, and watches.

and finally, his... well, not quite patience, but hostile obsession pays off. wolfwood's eyes open instantly, and he breathes, and eventually takes notice of him. it must be quite a sight -- saucer eyes full of malice staring him down with the confident calmness of a predator about to pounce.

yet somehow, razlo feels... sluggish, where he'd normally be keyed up from sticking around one spot for too long. suppose he can blame livio's influence.]

Fuckin' right it's me. Been waitin' for ya. Get up, bitch.

[the words and tone carry the implication of "so i can kick your ass," but razlo's volume is uncharacteristically low. there may or may not be any weight behind the threat.]

[...you know, maybe this is ultimately for the best. Wolfwood starting off his return to the living world right: pissed off, instead of crying because he's overwhelmed and traumatized.

His expression darkens pretty much immediately, but he doesn't fully get up so much as he sits forward a bit more, because he sure as hell is feeling the affects of not moving for a solid month. It's wonder his legs are going to still work after all this.

It sure is quite a sight indeed. Wolfwood's last memory of Livio was...bad, to say the least, so he can't help but feel the slightest bit emotional seeing him whole again. It's just...

You know. Razlo is Here.]

Why the hell are you here? Is Liv okay?

[those wide eyes narrow swiftly, whether in defense or simple distaste isn't entirely clear.]

Ya musta fuckin' missed it with yer damn beauty rest -- which was useless, fer the record.

[Oh, Wolfwood's eyes are just as narrow, don't you worry.]

You didn't answer my question.

Is Liv okay?

[then FIGHT HIIIIM GODDAMMIT.]

No thanks t'you 'n the overgrown weed. I had to pull us both up outta the dirt. [WHO'S better at protecting liv now, asshole?]

Do you think I went t'sleep on purpose?

[Wolfwood surges forward to sit up, immediately regrets it and has to sit back a bit, but is still glaring at Razlo all the while.]

I went back home. Just like the both of you did before. Unless you've already forgotten?

[raz is aware of all that, but wolfwood is lying to himself if he's expecting literally any understanding from the guy. in fact, when nick tries to get up, razlo's muscles all twitch as if he's shooting up as well, ready for that fight he's always begging for. but even when it's wolfwood, beating someone who's essentially already on the ground just isn't fun.]

What, then, ya finally dead? Good.

...no, actually.

[He gets almost a perverse sense of satisfaction from being able to say that, because no, actually. He didn't die. He didn't even come close.

...well. Calling what happened at Julai anything BUT a near-death experience would be downplaying the severity of the incident, so maybe not that.

But it does make him wonder. When. When is he going to return home, only to die?]

But I saw it happen. Julai.

[there's... some ping of guilt, somewhere deep inside of razlo (or perhaps livio, and it just bleeds through) hearing about knives' plots after they defected. especially the ones that had such heavy tolls of innocents.

... not that he'd ever show that to wolfwood. outwardly, he just keeps on scowling, and a dismissive scoff escapes his lips.]

Why the fuck're ya tellin' me? Don't wanna hear about your stupidass feelin's. Go whine to Squirt.

Because you fuckin' asked?

[Or rather, you're the one who brought it up, we're on this topic now deal with it.]

I don't know. It was different. The city got blasted off the map and the twins disappeared, but that's the last thing I remember.

[He did not have to live out those long years inbetween, thankfully.]

[razlo knows enough about this wolfwood and vash to know that they're not his. things went down a little different. hell, they were less than half this height when julai went to shit.

so, really, all he can muster is... kinda rude, actually, but it's raz. wolfwood would be stupid to expect anything different.]

Maybe you'll get lucky 'n neither one of 'em'll ever turn back up.

[Yeah, that...isn't surprising, as an answer.]

If Knives comes back, we're all fucked. But Vash, I...

[...]

I dunno. It seemed like he knew that whatever he was doin' was prolly gonna get him killed. But it ended up not even matterin'.

[And if Vash is truly gone, that is the worst possible way he can think of for him to go.

He still isn't processing it, and it shows with the way he's looking blankly at the wall just off from where Razlo sits.]

[still staring hard at wolfwood, razlo quirks a brow. he has a more... maybe not clinical, but matter of fact way of looking at it. brainwashed, even. even as much as he's realized the eye was bullshit, the plants themselves...]

Ya worry too much about the tumbleweed. They're above us, Punisher. Whatever power or healin' we got's jack shit in comparison to them.

...I guess.

[He knows that. He knows it, logically. But having known Vash for so long, and been around him...learned about him. He feels far more human than he does anything else.

It doesn't feel like he could have survived it, no matter how much Wolfwood logically knows it's very likely he could have. Especially when he has to accept the fact that the same thing would go for Knives, in that case.]

S'different here, anyway. I saw him run into the forest. I assume he didn't come back.

[... it's a fair enough point. whatever power the plants had back home, here, the forest has far more. that's been made clear enough by knives' corpse.]

Ain't seen him, no. [and as far as razlo's concerned, that's for the best. he doesn't trust himself not to rip the independent limb from limb for what he did to liv. because of course raz wouldn't admit to himself that livio allowed it to happen, actively resisted his protection.]

...yeah. Fuckin' figures.

[It's not directed towards Razlo, for once. No, he is...feeling some kind of way, that's for damn sure.]

Sometimes I don't know if he runs 'cause he's guilty, or if it's to avoid the consequences.

[Maybe that's a cruel thing to say, but his emotions are still hot right now. He's upset.]

Prob'ly the latter. Or maybe he's just really lost it. All the way-like. To the bitch in the woods.

[you want cruel? raz can probably top it!]

[Just thinking about that makes Wolfwood want to try to go out and drag him back, just on principle.]

...y'think? I feel like he'd sooner throw himself into the sea than let that happen.

[...right?]

Y'think they got a choice, when they're that far gone? [he rolls his eyes.] Thought you were s'posed to be the pragmatic one.

Look, I don't fuckin' know. Sorry if I've been tryin' not to think about it.

[He huffs, his expression souring as he pulls his arms around himself and looks away.]

I don't...wanna think about that.

[Vash doesn't deserve that kind of fate.]

Whatever.

[another eyeroll as he finally relaxes and stands up.]

I'm hungry. Gonna make somethin' to eat.

[only because he's hungry. not because wolfwood's been out for a month and probably starving. fuck that guy.]

[Wolfwood still hasn't fully managed to get out of bed, though his eyes do track Razlo's movements as he stands. When he speaks again, it's involuntary, like his brain thinks a thought and he just says it automatically.]

Didn't know you could cook.

[Livio can, obviously. But Raz-?]

[Eventually, Vash has to go home. Maybe Pure Vanilla and Ain encourage him, or maybe Wolfwood goads him. One way or another, though, Vash eventually makes his way back up to the cabin. He's already more or less been told that Razlo is still around which... makes Vash pretty aprehensive. Even without the full understanding of Razlo and what he's capable of, he knows that he's meant to protect Livio.

Which means Razlo failed because of Vash.

He knows whatever happens next simply won't end well. But it has to be done. Or maybe, Vash is just self flagellating per usual. Either way, he enters the cabin and, after clearing his throat once, looks around the enclosed space.]

Uh... I'm home?

[honestly, the grove as it is -- covered in candy and full of positive-vibes skeletons -- razlo is fucking bored. all the time. so when vash comes inside, he finds raz just lying in the middle of the floor. taking up most of it, actually, because the place is so small and he is so, so big.

his head is lifted up already, has been since he heard vash approach, but he doesn't immediately leap up to fight the guy or anything. vash is significantly less feathered and feral than he was on his and livio's gayass little date. so for now, raz just quirks a brow.]

Yeah, can see that. Y'don't gotta announce it.

[Well that... isn't quite the reaction he was expecting. Never mind the fact that Raz is still laying prone, even after realizing who's entered the home. They both know that Raz would be able to react lightning quick if Vash tried anything but... even still, he can't help but quirk a brow.]

Sorry. Didn't think you'd be, uh... Like this.

[he could play dumb. easily. but that isn't really his style, so much as direct confrontation. and if vash is all but asking for it...

slowly, raz sits up, never breaking eye contact.]

No? What, y'want me to beat ya half to death?

[What... does he even say to that?]

Figured I'd deserve it?

[Uh, well. Since they're just... vibing? He's going to lean against the wall awkwardly now.]

[shrug.]

Y'ain't a threat right now.

Assumin' ya got torched. What's with the feathers, still?

[Ain is so sorry Livio for his Crimes. He'll pull the big man aside after they leave the meeting, though, a very gentle "follow me" before he leads Livio north toward where the bunny bakery is. If it weren't freezing, he'd talk in the cold, but... well, winter has it out for them still.

When they get there and sit at the tables, Ain picks up a bunny and sets it right on Liv's lap, for morale and snuggles.]

Haha, sorry... I didn't mean to embarrass you during the meeting. I hope you aren't mad at me.

[... bunny bakery. liv can't say he's ever heard of the concept, or held a bunny in his lap before. he hasn't even been in here yet.

really, ain is a welcome change of pace from livio's earlier breakdown. the tearstains on his cheeks are just starting to fade, but he has a gentle smile for ain regardless. and of course, a hand to hold out to the bunny for sniffs. he'd rather an animal invite him to pet it than just assume.]

Not a bit. Reckon I embarrassed myself, if anything.

[It's like a cat cafe but bunnies, and Ain lives upstairs so the bunnies are completely used to him manhandling them every day. It's a gentle manhandling, okay.]

Aww, no, I was just... [He flips his wrist around, trying to be super dismissive, but eventually he relents and blurts:] Flirting. You don't have to acknowledge it.

[...]

You and Mr. Sheep... were really having a rough discussion. Are you okay?

[yeah, unfortunately nomansland was kind of short on cat cafés too. not that livio is complaining. he'll pet the little ball of fluff very gently, in fact.

his shoulders tense visibly at the mention of truthless, and he reaches one hand up to wipe at his cheeks, as if that'll erase the lasting evidence. he's quiet for a long moment before he gives a quiet, mirthless laugh.]

Did you mean it? The flirting.

...yeah. Haha, I always do. I understand if that went too far, though. I don't like being aggressive with it, but I'm not very good at social graces either, so I never know until it's probably too late.

[He slumps forward, laying his upper body across the table, crossed wrists and his chin on top of them. His anxiety is dialled up to 11 — when is it not? — but he knows better than to lie, even if emotions make him quite cagey.]

[at least ain isn't alone in that. livio did just avoid an entire ass line of questioning because he doesn't want to face how he feels about it. honestly, sometimes he hates being crybaby livio again. misses the time he could simply shut off his moral compass and ignore the magnitude of interpersonal relationships.]

Didn't feel aggressive. Just wasn't... expectin' it, I guess.

[it helps, to talk about something that feels... lighthearted? good? enough that livio's ear and cheeks flush like they did back on the docks. he doesn't dwell, though. ain seems off, too.]

What about you? Y'alright? Need anything?

[He forces the most forced laugh of his life.]

I'm really... not good with emotions. They make me jittery, if it's not happy or excited or anything like that. Anything awkward, or embarrassing, or upsetting makes me feel like I'm drowning, kinda. If that makes sense.

[Ain has never made it a secret he's an anxious person, but he certainly tries to avoid coming across that way.]

Besides, things like this are embarrassing by nature, aren't they? You know, confessing to someone that you think is cute...

[as... detached as livio feels from anything but grief right now, talking about this stuff doesn't feel so difficult. sure, his body reacts with a flustered response, but he doesn't feel fear. concern for ain, on the other hand... the poor guy seems really distressed.

liv reaches a hand out toward him, not touching him without permission, but settling near his own hands in a silent offer. only if ain wants it.]

I'm not real good with them, either. I'm sorry it's so hard on you... but if it helps, you don't gotta be embarrassed about this. I've always thought you were... ["cute" isn't the right word. "beautiful" may be closer, but that's a bit heavy handed, isn't it? livio exhales softly.] ... pretty. And sweet.

Edited 2025-02-04 06:15 (UTC)

Oh, it's only because I was created without them, I'll get used to it one day!

[The forced-chipperness sure is something. Either way, Ain does wind up picking his head up off the table, stretching, and putting his hand over Livio's. Totally cool and suave and not at all dorky, nope, not this one. Very put together.

...

AaaaaAAAAAA—]

You give me... cute aggression, I think. It makes me want to tease you like I've been doing. Stealing your hat and blowing you kisses and stuff. I just... [Words. Words words words, why have you abandoned him, words?] ...the way you blush is adorable. I want to see more of it.

[oh. well, ain is getting his wish. more, and more, at the hand holding, and at attention being brought to it. the flush creeps up and down simultaneously, spanning from his forehead to even the top of his throat.]

Jeez... Reckon y'could tease me all y'want 'n I'd thank ya. [he swallows, maybe a twinge of nervousness finally breaking through.] Still think about the way y'kissed me. Shit, been jealous o' Nick, in a way. That wrong of me?

[It's that cowboy twang that gets him. By Elria's light, he thinks he's cowboysexual. Hicksexual. Countrybumpkinsexual. Something along those lines.

In spite of himself and the very obvious fluster, he does manage a laugh, less awkward and more vibrant than the others. Oh, he doesn't think anyone has ever said they'd thank him for his near-constant need to run his mouth and be a general nuisance.]

Huh? I've been jealous of him, actually. He gets to kiss you every day.

[Ain, completely obviously at that, has a track record for his interest in Every Boy. This is the fault of Every Boy for being eligible to kiss, obviously, and nothing to do with whatever (w)hor(e)mones he's constantly afflicted by.]

Haha, but... It's not wrong of you. It's flattering, actually.

[seems they're both having a giggle. livio even summons the courage to turn his hand over so he can thread his fingers between ain's. god, his hand really dwarfs the guy's.]

Glad y'think so. Can't hardly believe y'feel similar. [livio is just... livio, after all. he doesn't really get what anyone sees in him.

rather than spiral into that, though, he'll test the waters, see if ain wants to elaborate on something he said a minute ago.]

Y'used to not have... what, feelin's?

[Ain has long, slender fingers and slightly manicured nails. Very much the hands of someone who primarily heals and doesn't handle heavy weaponry. He'd like to say there's not a scar on him, but Suri has seen fit to place several vinelike scars around his fingers. Despite how much Ain detests them, he doesn't shy away from hand-holding; more like he's mentally trying to size up how big Livio's hands are and having a little giggle about it.

He'll request to put a label on this in a second. For now, Livio asks, and Ain nods. Yep, that's what he said alright.]

Angels are created without them. [Ever since he got a dragon blessing, he's been halfway stuck between either form, and his ribbony wings move against the booth in emphasis.] I spent five hundred years without them, and only got them, um... five years ago? It's a long story, but the longer I spent around humans and learnt their ways, the more I grew into stuff like that.

[There's very much still a disconnect sometimes, though. Ain was gung-ho about feeling things until some of those things Were Sad and then he was like hmm, don't like this actually, why can't I have only good things? And then his fake-mom diagnosed him with anxiety.]

[... oh.]

I -- didn't realize it wasn't somethin' from here. [surprised as he may be, livio is far from repulsed. in fact, he may look at ain with a little more hushed awe than before. as much as he's grown to be uncomfortable around religion, he sure seems to be falling for angels at the same rate ain falls for bumpkins.]

... I'm glad yer here, like this. I hope that's okay to say. I really like the person y'are. The affection, the mischief, all of it.

I was trying to lie about it before... I don't really know why. But yeah, I'm not a real priest, I'm just a servant of the God everybody on Elrios worships.

[Maybe one day he'll tell Livio about how his mom basically created him To Go Die, but that's for another day. Today is a better day than it was going to be, at least for Ain in this specific moment.]

...but thank you. Haha, you're so sweet! I really like you too~. I owe you a kiss about it, don't you think?

[livio's smile falters, for a moment.] I don't blame you. Back home... Vash had to hide what he was for his own safety. Lookin' out for yourself ain't a bad thing.

[rather than getting too far into the mere idea of humanity as a whole's penchant for destroying The Other, he leans back in to the fluttery relief of knowing someone shares his affections.]

Y'don't owe me anything, Ain, but if yer offerin', I'd sure be grateful.

-- 'n if it needs t'be said, Nick 'n Vash 'n I agreed we can kiss who we please.

[Honestly if Ain told his main group he was an angel the response would be "oh cool" "thought so" "makes sense" "neat, what're we having for dinner" and one (1) "HAHA I KNEW YOU WEREN'T HUMAN" from his worstie who conspiracy-boards about him every day.

It would be real difficult to smooch a man with a whole table in the way, so Ain gets up and slides into the seat next to Livio instead, shoulder-to-shoulder. By no means is Ain a short man and yet he feels small here.]

Oh, I hope so~. I'd have to smack Nikolaus if he told me I couldn't kiss you.

[And kiss him he shall, cupping Livio's face in both hands and pulling him down for a gentle, slow, chaste peck on the lips.

...

There is an audible thump of his dragon tail wagging and hitting the side of the booth.]

[... logically, he knows ain is probably joking, but livio pouts nonetheless.]

Please don't smack him?

[then he's being kissed. his lip wibbles a little, more on reflex than a conscious movement. he can tell by the way ain touches him that it isn't just a joke or something -- the angel really, actually, truly wants him. it's hard to believe, still. he lifts his hands to cover ain's, featherlight, and deliberately kisses him in return. his own tail doesn't wag, but thumps up and down. that's... new, but the parallel is undeniably cute, which makes the initially slow thumping a little more excited. embarrassing, maybe. livio thought his face couldn't get warmer.]

[He won't smack him, but Livio's concern is precious anyway. Ain will not change, he will continue to be sarcastic and a bit devious at any one moment, even if his intent is largely to play rather than to harm. Livio's reactions only encourage him.

To that end, Ain winds up giggling into the kiss, backing off after a half-minute passes before he's tempted to suffocate Livio with his lips, but.

This does not stop him from leaning back in to plant a big kiss right on Livio's nose thereafter. Nor does it stop the incoming kiss on the cheek, once Ain moves his hand out of the way.

Get loved idiot.]

[livio lives for being gently teased. of course he does, he's best friends with wolfwood.

he also lives to hear people he cares about laugh. his response is a broadening of a smile and a chuckle deep in his chest, which echoes itself every time ain kisses somewhere else.]

Hey -- gimme a chance, too! [his turn to hold ain by the cheeks, for a protective smooch on the forehead and a reverent one on the chin.]

Aaaaaaa—!!!

[The Ain is squished, and kissed, and he's so happy that his giggling is making the bunnies look at him like "that man is Dying". They're also hopping around the spots where his tail keeps slapping the floor in a desperate bid to avoid it. Oops.

The most dorky snort-laugh leaves him, and then he opts for a simple hug. Livio is the size of a tree to Ain's scrawny ass, so it isn't a very tight hug.]

You're sweet~. I get to call you "mine" now, huh?

[oh... livio can feel his heart melting in his chest at that silly laugh. and he's positively goo in ain's arms, leaning against him before wiggling his arms down and around so that he can return the hug.]

You're sweeter, darlin'. [the warmth in his cheeks just feels like a permanent part of him by now.] I think I'd like that.

[The giggling will continue, then.]

Yaaay~. I'm going to brag to Nikolaus about you. [??? bitch he was there FIRST?] Wow, this was easier than I thought! I thought we'd have a much awkwarder conversation.

[He is definitely basing this expectation off Wolfwood's initial fuckup, whoops. It's fine, all good.]

I don't know how it usually goes, though, I guess.

[puffs his cheeks out.]

What if I brag about you first?

[his brows turn up as he smiles, sheepish.]

... Mine've been awkward, yeah. Lotsa dancin' around. Shoot, I nearly had a meltdown when Nick confessed. Thought he was leavin' Vash on a whim for my sorry ass...

Wow~. Did Nikolaus ever tell you how he tried to confess to me?

[Oh no—]

He kissed me in the church, touched my wings, and then said "I can't do it right now". I almost killed him~. [Ain.] He made it up to me two weeks later by giving me gifts, though. You cannot possibly fuck anything up worse than that, I'm pretty sure.

[his smile is fond, if a bit pained, as ain tells what livio is sure is a clipped version of the story. his arms squeeze around ain ever so slightly -- not tight, just closer.]

Sounds like him fer sure.

The way we were trained... Showin' vulnerability's hard. Even having, much less admittin' to having emotions is hard. 'm sure he's told ya as much.

But still... I think he's come a long way. He's tryin' real hard.

[It's incredibly chipped. Ain is leaving out a lot of things for the sake of the point. To be fair, the point is there! He's just skipping over why the wing touching is significant and what the gifts were (pyjamas) (and a dress and a skirt) (the pyjamas are most important though okay).]

Mm... I get it. You guys remind me a lot of some members of the El Search Party, trust me. I think it's why I'm so fond of you all. Livio, you're like... mm... wow, this won't make much sense to you since you don't know him, but you're almost exactly like Mr. Half-Nasod, except so far you're better at admitting you like men.

[Ainchase Ishmael—]

You're both big teddy-bear types, and very sweet, but also very serious when you need to be. [And also good at killing but Ain has chardev'd himself into enough tact to Not say that part.] And tall! But he's shorter than you, somehow.

Nikolaus reminds me of Mr. Ancient~ you had a Mr. Ancient here but that one was a doctor. My Mr. Ancient is just like Nikolaus and has no medical experience, and would punch people for one cornchip. Just~ like~ him! Haha~.

[Do you have to sing out every single word you say today]

[okay, he... laughs. a genuine, hearty laugh.]

Maybe he just needs time? Hell, before I got here, I didn't think I liked anyone. [more like chapel would have shot him in the groin if he even thought about romance or sex, but that's neither here nor there.

at the mention of add, he sobers back up a little. he hadn't appreciated the guy trying to steal his blood, but that doesn't mean he's forgotten add did his best to save wolfwood at the bonfire. it wasn't his fault the serum worked so fast.]

Kinda weird to think about him bein' so different from what I knew. Not that I knew him too well... Y'really think they're alike?

[Y'all got Doctor Add and meanwhile the one Ain knows is the one that punches lightning and takes steroids, I wish I was lying. Ain would not have liked the good doctor very much, he prefers his testosterone-addled moron.]

Oh, almost to the letter. The only difference is that Nikolaus has a big gun and doesn't punch lightning or play with machine parts all day. I don't understand complicated stuff like that.

[Nor will he try, considering he barely understands like, the government. And why they have to have money for everything. And why he can't just Take things that he wants, which relates to the money thing.]

You'd like my friends, I think. ...probably. You guys would fit right in~! We even have a country that's got a lot of sand, just like you're used to, in case you missed having sand in your shoes.

[livio's smile is soft and fond as ain describes his friends and a bit of his world. there's still so much they have to learn about each other. it's... exciting, in a way.]

I've liked all o' you well enough.

Y'know... can't say I wouldn't prefer the beach 'n the water. But... there are things I miss. [hopeland. but he'd still miss it even if he was back on no man's land.] The suns, the moons. The stars're different, too. I never really stopped to appreciate 'em before... [he deflates a little, smile fading.] ... I haven't really thought about it, but I'll never get to see 'em again.

Edited 2025-02-06 12:20 (UTC)

[Just you wait until Ain shows you his collection of cringe-ass plushies of his friends that he got from Ydalir this month because hoo boy he's a MESS right now.]

Aww... I understand. I think we'll figure out a way to get back one day. [He nuzzles right against Livio's cheek, like a cat, and then gives him a little peck.] Do you have constellations you like? Maybe we can try to recreate some of them here, later tonight?

[oh... right. vash and nick are the only ones livio has told that he believes he was killed back home. the thought sobers him quickly, wiping away the last trace of any smile, and his gaze suddenly darts away from ain.]

I couldn't name any if ya had me at gunpoint, honestly.

... Would y'think me rude if I had to go? I'm real glad we figured this out, but... I oughta check on Vash. I think he's takin' it real bad.

[Poor Liv...]

Not at all. Actually... I'm sorry I didn't get to comfort you more, haha. I didn't mean to make it all about me.

[Ain's got Livio trapped in this booth, though, so he'll get up and let him slide out of it.]

If you guys need anything, you know where I am, okay?

[he shakes his head, kissing ain's temple.]

Nothin' to apologize for. I was avoidin' it, but I appreciate you tryin' so, so much.

[following suit, he stands, and makes the effort to take ain's hand tenderly in his and bring it up to his lips for a kiss.]

I'd like to still take you up on makin' our own constellations, sometime, if you're willin'.

[Ope, there he goes, twirling his braid around his finger and giggling. God dammit.]

Yeah, anytime you want. My room here is upstairs, on the west-facing side, so just walk around the back and shout for me. I'll be there waiting.

Alright, angel, I will. Lookin' forward to it.

[welcome to petname central, ain. also to a good-night cheek kiss.

also also to livio being so socially stunted that he doesn't see any issue with just dropping this. they're together, after all.]

G'night, Ain. Love you.

[waves!! bye ain, have fun with that!]

[ain's just gonna stand there looking like This for a solid 60 seconds thanks liv (he'll tell liv he loves him too next time they meet up)]

[So. Vash has shown up dead and bleeding on the dimensional library's doorstep. Ydalir has stocked her shop with an item that, while romantic on the tin, will let Ain keep track of his partners... which is, you know. Not a great thought to have about something that's supposed to be all cute and romantic! But here he is!

There's that, and the fact that the amulets would let Livio (or Razlo) (whichever) borrow some of Ain's powers, which may be useless since Ain is mostly a healer with some attacks, but like. What if... it's not. What if it's not useless, what if it's the difference between saving lives aaaaAAAA—

Anyway. Is Livio still a Critter in June? Because Ain is. And this little, satyr-form deer is going to spring-sproing up to him (or them, if he's still a hydra) and slap a bracelet around Livio's wrist. The amulet is set in his hand a second later.]

Ms. Trader is selling these. [He says, as if an explanation is needed here. Where else would he get magical emotion-connecting GPS bracelets??] ...I don't want anything bad to happen to you, so I need to know where you are. I don't want what happened to Vash to happen to you.

[So, Ain is taking this well,]

[they are a single-headed tiger man at this point, but ain probably recognizes razlo's bearing on sight. in fact, ain is pretty damn lucky that raz is comfortable enough around him to not try to put him on the ground on reflex for running up to him and touching him out of nowhere.

and the moment their -- psyches? emotions? are linked, razlo can feel all of ain's trepidation, and ain can feel how razlo is pulled tighter than any spring imaginable, liable to snap at any moment. he's only fronting right now because livio was going to let them waste away if he hadn't taken charge, and he -- relates a little too much to ain's frustration and fear regarding their partners.

he understands what's happening with the bracelets, if not the amulet yet. he looks ain in the eyes.]

Y'don't wanna stay in our head, Ain. [... it should probably say enough that he doesn't have the energy or desire to call him some inane nickname.]

Edited 2025-06-03 20:27 (UTC)

[Hi Razlo. Get hugged idiot.]

It's not so bad. I'm in everyone's heads right now.

[He does, indeed, have several of those bracelets on, all with a colour that Ain thinks corresponds to his partners... Wolfwood a smoky quartz, Ezell a light amethyst, Add a lepidolite, and LR themselves being split down the middle — Livio a warm orange sunstone and Razlo a smooth carnelian, both inset into the same base and halved.]

Besides, if I do this, then I'll know where you are in case either of you get into trouble. Then I can come to the rescue.

[ugh. he also likes ain enough to hug him back, and to be controlled in his strength about it.

he certainly doesn't miss how many of the bangles decorate ain's arms. the guy is sure not coping any better than livio, even if ain doesn't have an alter to fall back on.

nonetheless, razlo scoffs.]

Nah. Don't be like that. 's our job to be y'all's meatshield. [his brows furrow. ain has been... cagey with him, a bit, lately, and it makes him wonder.] Y'know I'd take a hit for ya, right?

You're the sturdiest of anyone here, but sturdy people still die. And it was my fault that you guys died the first time around, too. I gave Vash the El shard and it made him go insane.

[Yeah, he's still guilty over that, too, pangs of it reaching out into their mutual shared emotions as he sighs and scrubs at his eyes. Ugh...]

...yeah, I know, [the second question is answered almost hesitantly.] For all your being big and scary and telling people you're really only here for Liv, I do know how protective you get.

[he's surprised to feel the guilt from ain, mostly because it never occurred to raz to blame him.]

Y'were tryin' to help. Ain't gonna hold that against ya. [raz glances off to the side, eyes narrowing as he exudes bitterness.] 'sides, Liv let it happen. He didn't even let me help. Not to protect him, or to get outta dodge.

[somehow, ain doesn't sound entirely convinced. razlo isn't the type to keep yapping about something, he needs to prove it, to back it up. so he doesn't press the matter, he'll just be on the lookout for opportunities.]

[He will continue to be flat against Razlo until morale improves... though he's quite mindful of his antlers. Razlo will not be stabbed today with them, even though the rainbowy leaves very well might be tickling his chin sometimes.]

My "help" hurt a lot of people. Mr. Pigeon, too. Nikolaus, because you guys died. Now I want my help to save a lot of people, which was my goal the first time around... but this one feels less likely to explode in my face somehow.

[razlo doesn't shy away from the closeness, even if he doesn't quite know how to reciprocate besides awkwardly patting ain's back. he still doesn't like the idea of giving the guy full access to his brain, as fucked up as he knows it is, but...]

... Y'swear it'll help you? Feel safer 'n all that?

...not... safer. Not me. I've already died twice. But it makes me feel the least bit relieved to know that you might be. I'm not doing this to keep myself safe, it's for everyone else.

[Carefully, Ain taps the amulet that he'd handed Razlo, too.]

This lets you borrow some of my magic. I might've said that already, I dunno. [He honestly cannot remember, so riddled with anxiety as he is.] I know a lot of spells. Fire, wind, ice... summoning swords and spears, uh... making vortexes... healing and shielding. You don't strike me as much of a caster, but even so, maybe it can help.

[more secure about the rest of them, then. razlo supposes he can accept that. he remains silent as ain explains the amulet, too, which raz wasn't familiar with. his head tilts as he considers it.]

Well... shit. With our guns useless, it might be a decent alternative. If it works both ways, y'might get some'a our strength, 'n yer body'll heal itself'a just about anything. Only took us a couple seconds back home, but takes five or ten minutes here. Just don't bleed out before then 'n you'll be back to normal.

Yeah, Ms. Trader said it was supposed to. It's only a couple times in a day, she said. Something about a limitation...

[Sigh...]

The dragons blessed me, too, so I guess I just have a lot of extra strength. I still don't think I could take you in an arm wrestling match, though.

sticksandbones IC Inbox

INVENTORY

oops its 2 am and my not!boyfriend broke up with me-

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cw: suicide ment

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Christmas Day

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forward dating slightly!

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After Vash has seen him but before Nai shows up

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